MONDO EXTRAS

Levels of Orgasms

by Keckler August 31, 2005 11:00 PM

Forcing him into a chair, Worf and Riker restrain him while Mother Crusher soothes, "It's okay, Wesley," and Picard comes at him with a device. Wesley struggles as Geordi's hand attempts to steady his face. Picard puts the device on Wesley. "NO!" Wesley yells, closing his eyes. "His eyes," Picard says. Three different hands go to force Wesley's eyes open, but here's the thing. Before they can exert real force, Wesley's eyes seem to flap open all on their own. Even funnier? Although his eyes are being forced open, they still manage to blink. This scene needed more Clockwork Orange. Now that will keep the kids off drugs! Picard activates the game and Wesley, prodigy that he is, actually manages to fight it for a bit. But, oh, he gives in to the O. His body relaxes and he stops fighting. "That's right, Wesley, just let yourself go...relaaaax," his mother encourages him. The lights on the Bridge go dim, and Data steps in. He holds up a strobe light and flashes Picard in the face. He flashes everyone else in the room until they blink. "Computer, resume normal illumination," Data orders. Wesley rips off his game and tosses it away with an "ew, gross!" look. The senior officers look confused. Data tells Worf that he will find a small alien ship off the starboard bow. He orders him to secure it with tractor beams and raise their shields. Worf hops to it. Picard looks down. "Are you all right, Captain?" Data inquires. "I think so, Mr. Data," Picard responds.

Enterprise grabs Etana's ship and she is none too happy about it. "Explain yourself, Picard!" she bites through the viewscreen. "The explanation is simple -- your attempt to capture our ship has failed," Picard tells her mildly. Etana threatens to fire. Riker steps forward: "Tactical analysis, Mr. Worf." "Their weapons systems are substantially inferior to ours -- they are not a threat!" Riker orders, "Get her off the screen." Etana is at a loss for words. Geordi can't believe what they were about to do. "Data," Riker says, "we deactivated you." Wesley leaps up, eager for approval: "I managed to reconnect his positronic matrix." Data explains that Wesley's runner in the corridors was a diversion so he could get the strobe light working to counteract the addictive effects of the game. "And the rest of the crew?" Picard asks. "We programmed the main computer to transmit the same optical bursts to all display screens, stations, and terminals throughout the ship." Data says. Well, that should reach all the nerds. "That should reach almost everyone -- take a medical team to treat the rest," Riker says. I sure hope no one on the ship is prone to heart problems or seizures. Picard says they will dump Etana at the nearest starbase. Would someone care to explain to me how the optical effects of the Strobe Light of Success will work on blind Geordi?

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