Enterprise
United (2)

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I'm Sorry, Trip, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That

Drone. No, no -- Quantum's done talking, Reed and Trip are on the drone ship. They technodiddle and technodaddle and even do a bit of this and that. Trip's half-flummoxed, which makes him twice as smart as he usually is. Oh, come on, if you think the cancellation is going to make me let up on Trip, you are soooorely mistaken! Trip figures out the environmental controls, and the lights come on. Reed wonders if anyone else is on board. "Why wuld a robot ship have a Bridge lak this?" Trip wonders. Because it's a transformer? You know: more than meets the eye? "It could be a prototype -- outfit an existing ship with the latest in computer controls." Wow. Reed's…smart. Gasp -- Reed's a ROMULAN THINGY! Trip thinks that if Reed the Romulan Thingy is correct, they are sittin' pretty, "If this ship's run by computer, alls we need to do is find the off switch." That'll work until you find out that the ship's name is HAL. No, see, I have a solution to ALL their problems: they can just cancel the computer.

Enterprise. Shran and Wilbur throw around slurs about one another's sexual habits, and it's about to get really ugly when, at the end of the table, far, far away from the warring aliens, Quantum silently raises his hand to call off the Uh-Ohs. I totally expected Han Solo's gun to be Forced into his hand and then it totally didn't happen. Quantum tells the aliens to chill the hell out while he gets a furrow in edgewise. He orders the both of them to try behaving like humans for a change. Given that Wilbur TRIED to shake your hand last week and SAID he would have PREFERRED HUMAN food to TELLARITE food, I think that's EXACTLY what he was TRYING TO DO! I mean, do you WANT me to come through my television set and slap you? Because I will. "And you said you wouldn't be insulting?" Wilbur snarks. Hah! Wilbur, do you want to recap for me next week? Quantum jumps up all like he's gonna make somethin' of it, and the two aliens sit down. Quantum furrows, stalks, speechifies, and spits at Shran and Wilbur about the greater good and not playing into the Romulan Thingies' hands and crap.

Drone. Reed and Trip have their helmets off. All the better to kiss each other with. They note that the ship has gone back to warp, and try to figure out a way to control the ship. In San Romulisco, Val-dor-EE and 2nd Romnana can't figure out what Trip and Reed are doing since their security cameras are offline. "The drone is dropping out of warp!" 2nd Romnana pants. On the drone, there's a descending Mrrrrrrrrroooooooonnnnnggggg. Reed looks around and determines, "You found the off switch." "Alls I did wuz innerrupt the power to the warp controls," Trip says. So, he unplugged it? That's SOME engineer! They can't make sense out of the Romulan lingo and wish for Hoshi, but manage to figure out where the backup systems are anyway. Trip touches the screen and a door opens. "Ah, Maestro!" Reed breathes admiringly. Oookay. In Romlington D.C., the Romulan Thingies announce that if Reed and Trip ventures into that secret room, someone is going to die! Or get cancelled. Take your pick. Trip and Reed fiddle with stuff. From Los Romules, the Romulan Thingies seal Trip into the secret room. "Malcolm?" Trip bellows. "Did you touch something?" Only if you want him to. Try as they might, the two men cannot get through to each other. Val-dor-EE gets on the PA and announces that he controls the ship as he releases reactor coolant into Trip's secret room. Val-dor-EE tells him if he doesn't re-establish the warp matrix within seven minutes, he will die.

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Enterprise

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