Dude. I don't even know what happened. I just watched it again do to the recaplet and I STILL don't know what happened. But weirdly? That was a good thing. In fact, this finale rocked so hard that I haven't been this wound up since "Twilight" and Dr. Mathra's now got the bruises to prove it. You gotta love that the episode OPENS with the Snake Eyes toasting each other with mice that they then EAT! Okay, okay, it's sort of Spike with the kittens (except he never ate them. On screen.) but it's way more V-"mousie-mousie," so it's way more awesome. Quantum badgers Hoshi to figure out how to disarm the weapon. Poor Hoshi complies. Suddenly, Shran arrives on the scene to save the day and it's just awesome. He distracts the Snake Eyes with a juicy bunny rabbit, so Quantum and Qrew can get onto the weapon in order to unplug it. They unplug it, and Quantum sends his Qrew back so he can face Dolim alone. Somewhere in there there's a scene with Daniels that bugs me because I HATE Daniels, and it's also fairly pointless, until next year, I expect. Meanwhile, T'Pol and Trip take Enterprise over to Sphere 41 and busy themselves with turning that off. The whole crew gets impetigo in the ramped-up anomaly and some Golden Girls dodder in to see what sort of caftans they can heist. But THEN! They disable Sphere 41 and the Golden Girls sort of end up dying without another permanent. Then there's this scene between T'Pol and Porthos that I can't talk about because it actually made me cry. MADE ME CRY, PEOPLE! Everyone thinks Quantum is dead because Mega Maid explodes while he's "still on it," but he turns up in some Nazi camp with a red-eyed alien in an SS uniform glaring over him. Not to mention that Trip and May-I-Can't-Even-Try-Anymore fly down to SF looking for an unresponsive Starfleet only to have 1944-ish P-51's shooting at them. If you took off your head and hid it under the couch only to find it in the fridge, you weren't alone. But it was awesome.
This finale rocked so hard that I haven't been this wound up since "Twilight," and Dr. Mathra's now got the bruises to prove it. You gotta love that the episode OPENS with the Snake Eyes toasting each other with mice that they then EAT! Okay, okay, it's sort of Spike with the kittens (except he never ate them. Onscreen.), but it's way more V-"mousie mousie," so it's way more awesome. But due to the totally WTF ending, if you took off your head and hid it under the couch, only to find it in the fridge grazing on the pickles, you weren't alone. But it was awesome.
Previously on Enterprise, the whole damn season happened. Got questions? Wanna know why no one really knows what the Temporal Cold War is, or why I started drinking at nine o'clock in the morning since they dropped that storyline along with the Suliban and Shower Guy? Read the recaps.
A passel of Snake Eyes stand around, swirling drinks in cups and gloating. "If they had made us the dominant species before The Wars, our homeworld would still exist," Dolum comments in what sounds like a blaspheremous statement. "And our Avian brothers would still fill the skies," another Snake Eyes says, swirling his cup. What's with the swirling? Is this the Reptilian Wine Tasting Society? "We should be grateful that the Golden Girls have finally come to their senses," Dolum says. The camera pans down to show an ashtray with a few squirming mice in it. The Snake Eyes each grab a squealer by the tail and hold them up in the air as Dolum hubrises on. And on. The Snake Eyes toast Dolum's blather and lower the mice into their mouths with lots of noisy gobbling. Dolum's the only one who looks like he actually chewed his snack rather than just deep-throating it. I guess that's because Scott McDonald gets his name in the credits. Of course, now that we've seen them eat fuzzy cute things, they can't possibly ever get redeemed. It's like having a smoker on teen shows. And the Avians mention with required "fill the skies" comment? WHY did they never bring them back? It's like they intended to include them in a storyline as more than just legend but never got around to it. Given the continuous harping, I'm really kinda bugged by that.
On top of Old Hokey
All covered with boudong,
I lost my whole stomach
Because of this song
For watching's a pleasure,
But spewing is grief,
And a stink-twisted singer,
Is worse than a queef.