Vince's cell phone rings in the middle of some kind of ass-kissing from somebody -- Turtle, I think. We already know it's Ari, because the whole rest of the show is here onscreen, but it's exciting anyhow, because Ari's the only good thing about this show. Ari "got some feedback from the Frog director," and as Vince begins to apologize, tells him that the French director loved him and "they want to wrap you up in a scarf and give you a baguette" and "throw four million at you" and meanwhile, Vince is kind of gross as he overtly mouths, "They loved me," to the Funky Bunch, who are literally standing with their mouths agape, waiting for the news. Yeah, because directors always call in the time it takes you to drive home from "Warner's." Not like they have to meet with seventeen producer tools first. "Can you hear me smiling? Listen," and the Piven is adorable as he chatters his choppers into the phone. Cut to Vince, and the Piven is...less adorable as he notifies him that Vince has got his "balls tingling, man." Ew. But then immediately he's back on my Hot List (R.I.P. Jim Mullen: Don't let the poorly-constructed and unfunny punchline hit your arthritic sciatica on the way out, Granddad) as he screams into traffic (and Vince's ear), "They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch?" I don't know why it's funny, and really it isn't, but...it's Piven, man. The reason for the season. The Funky Bunch loses their funky lunch when they hear about the four million, and Vince asks "E" for his advice, which is still? Read the script. The others totally scoff at this.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: B- | 1026 USERS: B-
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