Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
I [HEART]...the HELL?

Heading to the premiere in a black limousine, we drive by actual Sephora. "How's my head?" asks Kevin. Huh? "You look fine, [Kevin]," Vince sweetly assures him. Everyone kind of watches him, because he's very nervous, but Turtle needs it explained that Kevin is very nervous because he's also in the movie -- which Turtle forgot. Turtle kindly asks him to say his line again, and it's very nice of the boys to be so solicitous about what's clearly a big deal for Kevin and an itsy-bitsy deal for everyone else in the world: "Give us your line again?" They're only about 15 percent making fun of him, which is better than their average, as he straightens his posture, shoots his metaphorical thespian cuffs, and grits out, "I'm outta here, motherfuckers!" The crowd goes wild, and they scream their encouragement. It's a little sad, but at least everyone's putting a nice face on it. It makes me glad Joan Cusack rocks so fucking hard, you know? And again, Kevin asks about "the head," and I'm still unsure what we're talking about. Adding to my confusion, he is reassured by Eric's protestations that the head is "thick." What the fuck is going on? Oh. His hair. Man, this guy is a mess. "That Rogaine, that shit's liquid gold, baby," he says. Okay, I get what they're doing here, and apart from the clunky dialogue I'm actually pretty impressed. Kevin's actually acting like an insecure Hollywood casualty, and they've put some thought into his character, and it's cool. I'm starting to get into this show now. At first I thought it was all about the conflict between Ari and Eric, but there's a smarter issue here: protecting Kevin from Vince's fame has gotta be, like, a full-time, around-the-clock kind of deal.

Having arrived at the premiere, Kevin makes ready to exit the limo, but Eric (falling down on the job a bit) bluntly points out that best practice might be to have Vince -- the star of the film, and of the limo, for that matter -- leave the limo first. Ouch, and Kevin sits back again. Vince stands up, and there's a five-story-tall banner of his head above and behind him that covers almost an entire building (the movie in question is called Head On, by the way, which sounds dumb). There's screaming and flash photography and the camera jiggles around so much I can feel the red carpet beneath my feet. The rest of the entourage follows him into the fray, and Turtle notes both that the "Pavarottis" are out tonight, which earns a tiny giggle from me, embarrassingly, and the "tits on the girl from Extra," which I'm sure is hilarious, but I don't watch Extra, so I'm pretending he means Serena Altschul because that girl will guest-star on anything. Maybe he's talking about the actual Pavarotti. Heh. Eric, doing his non-job as Vince's unofficial manager, sends Turtle to make sure "Ali" isn't sitting within ten rows of Vince. I like this whole double-or-nothing rule about exposition we've got going. Keeps you on your toes, narratively speaking. Either tell me six times or mention it in passing, without context. Eric tells Turtle not to mug for the cameras, so Turtle throws his arm around Vince and immediately begins mugging for the cameras. But what about this Ali we've never heard of? I'd be worried, if I knew what to be worried about.

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