Turtle and Drama pull up at Rufus's joint to discuss getting things for free, and Rufus is like an older, thicker Don Cheadle, good-looking, and he doesn't really have anything to say, and this is not interesting at all. Turtle and Drama negotiate some product-placement deal using Vince to advertise for Rufus, and then they watch porn. And I have to say, if I were showrunner of this show, I would make Rule #2 be, "No scenes with just Drama and Turtle," because they're only interesting by comparison. This is like having a sitcom about Urkel and Balki running around doing things, which sounds boring and stupid. It's like a television truism: You've always got to have an Eric McCormack.
Eric and Kristen discuss this mysterious break-up sex some more in the hopes that my goodwill toward Kristen will dissipate, and then it doesn't have to, because Kristen jumps up to get dressed and Eric says, "I feel dirty" in this cute, wheedling tone, and Kristen yells, "Take a shower!" and it's pretty damn cool. Except to get there we had to do the Break-Up Sex Tango and so I feel dirty too, for kind of liking this show.
So in the house, now Kristen's gone, Drama says "Tie or no tie?" and Turtle says "No tie!" and Drama says, "What do you know?" And that's Drama and Turtle, people. Kind of funny, mostly lame. Turtle looks very cute in a suit. I'm sorry. I said it, I can't take it back, hate me if you will, but he looks really nice. His hair's very...fluffy. Instead of being, you know, a baseball cap like usual. He's not that bad looking. What the HELL am I talking about? Good thing I just gave myself chilblains on my soul with that one, because it means I can get all introspective and worry about myself and not pay attention to the next bit, where Eric says he and Kristen had B.U.S. and Turtle says B.U.S.? and Drama is all B.U.S.? Never heard of it and Eric, like, totally explains it again but all I can hear is my self-respect screaming. Vince rolls out of bed and down the stairs and Eric says he looks like he just rolled out of bed and Vince says he just rolled out of bed. Not even wearing a suit can fix Kevin Dillon's face for me. Vince changes his black t-shirt for another black t-shirt and it's dumb but I'm still weeping. Some song starts that goes "Big L.A., big silly, big money, big billy" and then I think it name-drops Cinemark. How odd.
Warmup guy at Jimmy Kimmel says the usual about what a great show it's going to be. He tells us that Sara Foster is from the movie The Big Bounce, because they're smart enough to know that we neither know that or care. Then the boys are all running down the hallway with the, apparently, totally indispensable Shauna, and she's shouting directions left and right and it's like every fast-walking trip down every hallway ever. Drama is talking about how they shouldn't tell Kimmel Drama's there because there's bad blood and I still don't know what the hell that's about. Sara Foster is the Alice Krige of the Miutrix. And apparently I'm a dork for making that reference but I don't care because I want this over with. Vince and Sara Foster talk and stuff and it's like they broke up with each other but they don't know who broke up with whom, and then they fuck. And this is HBO, so the door slams in our face. Not that I'm complaining. Drama and Shauna have a weird conversation and it turns out Drama was once married but only for nine days and then it was annulled and maybe he has the sneak for Shauna but I don't know.