Cut to Monica Keena, who ruled Dawson's Creek for the five minutes she lived there before Jen pushed her into said Creek. And who has gotten freaking hot. I thought she was pretty, kind of character-actory but pretty, before, but now she's hot, and not Entourage hot where the face has no facial features and it's just a blur but actually hot. I'm pleased by this. Eric is too. Kristen's going through the drawers in his house as he tells her so, and she thanks him graciously and kind of intellectually notes that she's in the best shape of her life, and then tells him that he looks like shit: "Who's been cutting your hair, Turtle?" And it all sounds bitchy but the way she says it, it somehow isn't. Like they're having a value-neutral discussion of a philosophical topic, and the topic is how she looks awesome and Eric looks like shit. Part of this is his delivery, "I do?" like, should I get that looked at? And he's made himself such a doormat/victim that he could be giving aid and succor to her bitchery, but it doesn't seem like it. I like it. It seems like a conversation you would have with your best friend, to me. He checks his hair in the mirror and asks if she's still "doing the Pilates," by which I think he means the more timely "Tae-Bo," and she says that she's only doing it when she has time because she's really busy. Oh, Eric's really busy too -- so busy in fact that he does not have time for a haircut. She presses the issue of exactly what Eric does all day, and I lean forward in anticipation. Eric: "Stuff." Like what? "Stuff. Don't quiz me." I almost sit back and then she asks, "Like what did you do today?" And Eric is wonderful as he sighs that she never understood his job, but that today he shopped and played golf. And she laughs. She's right to laugh. Eric explains about Kimmel -- a show which began its run by getting the audience plastered every night until The Breast of Super Bowls Yet to Come told them to quit it -- and how he's got to keep Vince's mind focused. He's hanging on the doorframe like he's scared of physical violence, but they're showing each other a lot more emotional honesty than I've yet seen on this show. I hope Kristen sticks around, frankly, although I'm kind of sick of seeing people get picked over Anna Stern.
Remember how I was saying that we haven't seen much of Vince's personality, thus far, and that the reason for this is that there is no such animal as Vince's personality? Apparently my saying that scared Marky Mark right back into his pants, because it turns out Kristen's something of an amateur psychologist, coincidentally, and she's been giving thought to Vince's character, coincidentally, and she would now like to engage in probably the most damning television shortcut bullshit technique ever created by people who can't really write very well, by explaining his psychological makeup, in detail. Jesus, I hate that. The whole point of good TV is that we draw these conclusions ourselves: it's one of the ways you know you made a believable character. But to send lovely Kristen in to tell us the nature of things? Bad, bad news. Bad news for a good scene. ["Just as a point of interest, this is where I decided to erase the episode without watching the rest, and never watch it again." -- Wing Chun] "Vince has to break up with girls before it gets serious; that way he can't get hurt." Whoa. Incisive. Next you'll be telling me Eric's afraid of success or something, and that's why he's a remora on Vince's shark ass. I mean, she's an amateur, right? So but it shouldn't be this easy for me to believe that that is not where the show is trying to go. They are trying to deliver important information to us in this manner. And that? Sucks.