Eric offers Ari an Altoid in such a sweet, disingenuous way that Ari can't even get mad about it, but he does back off a little before going into his Slimy Agent Zen Place and telling Eric he needs to distract Vince by any means necessary so that he can stay focused on blah blah acting blah. He offers a hand to shake but it's merely a psych-out. He flips right back to scary and drops an F Bomb threat. I love Jeremy Piven so much. He then immediately flips back to Nice Ari and asks if Eric would like to "hug it out." His gaze goes nowhere near the mysterious lips as he asks this, by the way; he's kept fearsome eye contact this whole scene. It's quite intimidating. Eric demurs on the nappy hug-out, but Ari will not be denied: "Let's hug it out, bitch." Eric must give in, under duress. The fuck you're not going to hug Jeremy Piven when he tells you to. What is this, science fiction? The Piven says hug, you say how hard. Bitch. The Piven is like second in command of the Hug Police, right after Andrew WK.

This just in: Even though this episode was probably written back in the Truman administration, they've somehow conspired to give a little shout out to last week's recap. The Orange County Register, at some point, called Johnny Drama a "functioning retard." Just like I did! California, here we come. While Kevin Dillon thinks that was a bad review, Turtle's kind of pulling a punch when he says he thought it was a compliment. Heh. Kevin tells Vince to try and join his acting class (and I must say I'm proud of the production staff for not just dropping a gratuitous Faustino in there, for their own supererogatory amusement), where -- even though most people have to audition to get in -- Vince would be, after all, "a legacy." I'm starting to like Kevin Dillon a little. It's not the character that's the problem, it's the writing, because Turtle's an obvious write-off so there's no balance to be maintained with his dialogue, whereas something a little more subtle is required to pull off the Johnny Drama stuff, because honestly I think Kevin Dillon can handle it. He gets the joke, of course, and already he's surprised me three or four times in this episode with his delivery. Too bad the writers don't really care to excel. Too bad nobody seems to think a director is necessary for filming.