So Vince says that the Phantom makes driving so fun he might even get his license. So that explains why Turtle's always driving, and also why he has such a vested interest in the kind of car they bought. And while this is a little bit dumb, it's not unheard of. Your loyal recapper can't drive either. But Turtle says something weird and I guess it's because he's stoned, so I forget about that whole rant: "We should've had one of these in high school." How would that have come about? I need more back story. They've only lived in L.A. for 14 months, but Vince has been acting professionally for at least two years, and these boys are much older than 20, so they were still poor (they were poor!) when they graduated high school. Anyway, who cares, because this is Entourage so it's more about overlooking the random crap that comes out of Turtle's mouth in favor of the weak punchline ahead. "You think that would've gotten you laid?" And Turtle laughs kind of believably, "More than my yellow Fiero did!" This whole time the camera is on Eric like a hawk, drinking in the sight of him smoking pot with an obsessive attention. Kevin decides to add his disgusting two cents: "Shit, I got crazy pussy in high school, and I was driving a moped." Shut up, Kevin. Although it does provide a pretext for me to tell you all about my new dramatic project: The Clinically Insane Vagina Monologues, starring Sean Young, Jewel Kilcher, Brittany Murphy, and Sharon Stone in its original Broadway run -- with a special appearance by Margot Kidder.