Eric walks in -- Hi, Eric! -- and demands to know why Kevin Dillon is telling their breakfast about his vagina. Kevin Dillon responds that he and "Faustino" -- and see, right away you can see the whole thing, where this is going, it's like you have mental powers, it's like standing at the veeeery top of a veeeery tall pile of garbage -- are going to be performing it together in acting class. And they keep talking, so you think the one joke they have in each scene is to come, but it's not. Because the joke is that Kevin Dillon and David Faustino are in acting class together, right? Hilarious, right? And they're performing The Vagina Monologues, okay? Isn't that funny? No? But they keep talking anyway. "I thought that was for girls," Eric needlessly points out. "It's a gender reversal exercise, bro," Kevin Dillon pointlessly answers. "I thought you already had your gender reversed," Eric giggles. And I'd like to point out again that there's way too much...stuff, for these boys to act with, in the kitchen. Every time they go in that room it's like the Cirque de Soleil with the amount of activity that goes into making coffee or Unspecified Breakfast Foods or walking around or whatever. Like the entire kitchen is this spinning, mechanical, 13 Ghosts kind of kitchen where everything is about to spring to life and dance around weirdly and start singing some Disney kind of welcoming song. Which to Vince, with his obvious drugs vs. reality problems, it usually is.
Speak of the movie star. He walks into the kitchen, clearly having begun this conversation in another part of the house, where there are not people, to tell "E" that he's decided they're "going with the Benz." Eric doesn't believe him, because Vince doesn't make decisions, just forces him into impossible situations where he has to make the decision and get burned by it. But no, this time Vince means it, because he had a dream about it. No wonder other people control your life. Because see, number one, you are making a huge purchase based on a dream you had, and number two? You dream about shopping for cars. The same cars you are shopping for in your actual, semi-waking life. You are an idiot and a creep. And to prove that I am right, Kevin Dillon also dreamed about it last night. Great. "We're cruising down Rodeo, suddenly two jerk-offs pull up and say, 'Hey Chase brothers! Fuck your mother!' and then opened fire." So they share a mother? And they have two different fathers. I get that, because in TV World that just means you're poor trash, and we already knew that. So but how was it that they thought they were cousins until high school? I can wank a million different scenarios here, but none of them makes sense unless everybody got remarried immediately, and that still doesn't make sense, because that would mean one of the dads would have to marry the mom's sister in order for the grandparents to work out correctly. Kids don't get that stuff because they don't care, so screw it. Basically, it seems, this Time Out was necessary for me to realize that Kevin Dillon is, in fact, both my mother and my sister. ["Oh my God, he's mine too!" -- Sars] Eric jerks me back to reality by pointing out that this was a fantastical dream of the highest order, since someone actually recognized Kevin Dillon. I would hasten to point out that the next thing these guys did upon recognizing Kevin Dillon, however, was to open fire on him, which serves to make it more realistic.