The Review

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Meet Emily

Eric pulls off a shoe, the better to get his foot past his gag reflex, and asks if "we" should be worried about the review, and you can see the tiny cartoon storm cloud above Ari's head form and then immediately dissipate in the space of a nanosecond before he spits out the seemingly obvious fact that the review is completely unimportant because it was in Variety and that's not even a real paper. And that's kind of funny in that we all know that's not true, except so does Eric and so does Vince, because they sent out Turtle this morning for "the trades" and when he brought them to the kitchen, Eric immediately cracked open today's Variety without even bothering to put down the swords he had just been swallowing while juggling sticks on fire. Anyway, Vince isn't worried, right, but Eric is worried, but Eric says he's not worried, because it's more important to move forward, and then he asks Ari what they are "doing," and not paying attention to Ari's rising volume, clarifies that he means what they are doing about Vince's next job. Which is pretty much an open invitation to throw him through the glass coffee table, because Ari's next line is obvious: "I got Vince's next job! It's Matterhorn! You passed on it!" And that's valid, and frankly, at this point I agree. I'm almost impressed by the continuity, but then Ari goes to an unnecessary, silly place when he starts screaming about how it's because Eric doesn't want to make money, because he's a Communist, or maybe a Socialist, and Ari asks which one he is, "or didn't they teach you the difference at Pepperoni U.?" Which is the tepid punchline to the reverse-engineered Communism thing, which itself only sticks out because this is Hollywood, and calling someone a Communist in Hollywood should be earned by at least a passing reference to the Hollywood Ten, just so it makes sense, instead of being a random weird epithet hurled out on the way to the Pepperoni U. punchline. God, just a Hubbell Gardner reference would have done it.

The highlights. Are they back? Let it go, Jacob. So then Eric and Vince work swimmingly together to get the meeting back on track, having a strange little Gilmore Girls kind of nothing conversation about nothing as a lead-in to asking a somewhat pacified Ari about the new round of scripts for Eric -- I mean, "for Vince" -- to read. Vince pays Eric $4000 a month. I want to be Vince's manager. Ari pays his dog walker $4000 a month. I want to be Ari's dog walker. What else you got? Anna brings in the scripts, in this box that must weigh a bomb, as Ari invites Vince to go golfing and invites Eric to caddy for them, and it doesn't really fit into the rhythm of the scene because now he's about getting them out the door, but whatever. Anna gives Eric the box and ruffles the pages sexily as she looks right at Eric's mouth and tells him to call her "if the pages printed out too light, or anything," and he stares after her, but she is gone, until the next time they visit Ari's office. She's too busy not being on The O.C., I guess, to contribute anything more. What is it about Eric's mouth? It's a little weird, a little too, like, mushy or something, but he's a cute guy, there's no reason to focus on the lips unless you're going to kiss him, so that means everybody's going to kiss him, including way more than half of the Entourage forum posters. So I guess he really is the Seth Cohen.

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