A rather small baby is thrashing about on a bed, getting examined by Doug (assisted by Conni). He has a big old scrape on his knee, like he skinned it; several bruises on his torso and legs, and what looks like a cut over his left eye. He's crying lustily, and sounds like he has a cough. Oh, that's right. This is the obligatory child-abuse case, not the one with the key-swallower. My bad. Let's pretend that the actor who played Mrs. Jimmy prepared for the part by coming up with some big backstory about how she secretly abused him and he got back at her by swallowing her apartment key, okay? Could be true. Anyway. This baby looks like ten miles of bad road. A young woman is standing by while Doug performs the examination, looking worried. I don't want to jump to any conclusions (since I was wrong last time), but since the baby is white and the woman is black, I'm going to guess she's his babysitter or nanny. Anyway. Doug looks grim. In a rather flippant tone that suggests he thinks Nanny did all this to him, Doug tells Conni that they'll have to get some x-rays on Beat-Up Baby. He asks Nanny how this happened. Nanny very quietly says that Beat-Up Baby fell out of his crib. Doug skeptically repeats, "He fell out of his crib?" Nanny elaborates, "He was crying all night, so I brought him here." Doug bitchily says, "I'll bet he's been crying. When did he fall?" Nanny says, "I don't know. I don't want to get into trouble!" Doug clips, "Ma'am, your son has multiple contusions --" "He's not my son," Nanny interrupts. Yeah, Doug, duh, I figured that out ten lines ago. Doug snaps, "Whatever! Whatever your relationship --" "I'm his babysitter!" Nanny squeaks. Doug considers this and then quietly says, "This child has been beaten." Nanny nods. "I'm going to call Children and Family Services," Doug tells her, walking out. "Please!" "It's the law," Doug grits. "But I'll get into trouble!" Nanny protests. Doug tells Conni to stay there. Oh, Doug. I hate to say you're wrong when you look so right.
Episode Report CardWing Chun: A- | 612 USERS: B
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