"Ugh!" Chen scowls in the lounge. Susan gets the lowdown on Pratt and Harms, which Chen calls a date even though it quite possibly isn't. "It's my own fault," Chen mourns. "You're forgetting the #1 rule of dating: Men are scum," Susan grins.
Outside, Pratt rants to Carter that women don't know what they want -- first it's a commitment, but when they get one, they suddenly want freedom, so when you give them that, they get jealous, and women are bitches and hos, and they're crazy, but God Almighty, they have breasts, and so that makes it all okay. Or something. "Women can be hard to figure out sometimes," Carter says absently. "Sometimes?" Pratt snorts. He then posits that homosexuals have it the best. Carter jerks his head up, bemused. "Two guys living together: toilet seat's always up, channel's always on ESPN. You can drink beers in bed, leave your clothes on the floor...I'm telling you, gay cats got it good!" Pratt says, in quite an impassioned lather at this point. Carter stares at him, unsure whether Pratt is an idiot, a genius, or trying to get a date with him. "Why are you telling me this?" he asks, tiredly. "I have no idea!" Pratt announces.
Luka approaches. "I thought you were on vacation," he tells Carter. "I thought you quit," Carter retorts. Luka tries to fob off a patient, but Carter explains that he was never working. He leaves. Weaver, on her way out, gifts Luka with a double-shift for showing up late for his initial shift. "Whatever," he grumbles. Susan greets Luka pleasantly. "Why is there a sumo wrestler in One?" he booms. "See, it's like you never left!" she giggles.
And suddenly, we're at home with Weaver for a scene that was -- if I read my spoilers correctly -- supposed to fall into an earlier episode, but got tacked on here, presumably because TPTB realized that there's a world of viewers outside their own anuses, and those viewers like to see story threads actually addressed, rather than dropped like so many pairs of trousers. Kerry is curled up on the couch reading a book. Sandy pads over to her and kisses her head, rubbing her shoulders. "Takeout should be here any minutes now," she smiles. She teases Kerry for re-reading Mansfield Park yet again. "Why read, man, when you've got TV?" Sandy sighs happily, clicking on the television set. I'm sure this is here for the purpose of showing us their differences, so that we'll buy it when they split up, which I'm assuming they'll do rather than keep up the half-assed charade and have Lisa Vidal show up for two minutes every ten episodes or whatever. I don't think they're implying that Sandy is déclassé or anything -- just different from Kerry. For her part, Kerry chews on her lip, then sets aside her book and turns off the TV set. "I don't want to wait," she confesses. "I think that we should try again." Surprised, Sandy gapes a bit and sets down her wine glass. I'm surprised TPTB didn't go the whole hog and make it a Busch Light. "Do you feel like something's missing here, Kerry?" she asks. "Yes, yes," Kerry replies emotionally. Sandy considers this. "Okay, well, are you sure you're ready?" she says, caringly but certainly without excitement. Kerry gulps and reveals that she'd hoped Sandy would try getting pregnant this time around. "Me?" Sandy's jaw drops with distaste. "Kerry, honey, listen, you know what I do. I'm the roofman. I can't swing a Halligan when I'm six months pregnant!" Kerry desperately suggests that Sandy could take a leave of absence, and that it makes total sense because Sandy's younger and the odds are better. Kerry even tries to woo her with tales of how amazing it feels to have a Weavus inside, but Sandy's not buying it -- she's not wired that way, she doesn't want to experience pregnancy. A tear trickles down Kerry's cheek. Sandy leans in and strokes Kerry's face. "Listen, we're being totally honest here," Sandy whispers. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't." Kerry wheedles pathetically, "Not even for me?" Sandy backs away. "That's not fair," she says. "None of this is fair, Sandy," Kerry says, wiping her eyes. "None of it is fair." Sandy makes a thin excuse to escape, leaving Kerry alone and sad on the couch.
Carter finds Abby on the roof, sitting and smoking. She promptly stubs out the cigarette. "Don't put it out on my account," he says. She insists that she only wanted half. "Nobody smokes half a cigarette," Carter says. Actually, that's not true. The security guard at my old dorm used to do that -- she'd go out and smoke half, then put it out and put it back in the box for later. That way, she could get a nic fix often, but she didn't need to be outside for the time it takes to smoke a whole cigarette. Ah, Marlene. How I miss your smoke-ravaged voice. Abby insists that her restraint stems from a desire to quit smoking. "Back to that, are we?" he brats. Abby apologizes for ditching him. "No problem. You had bigger concerns," Carter says, clearly hurt. "Yeah, like ruining your vacation," she says. "Run away, Carter. Run as fast as you can." She's all glib about it. She sucks.