An annoying man screams. Screw that.
Chen wheels in a woman named Kelly who just came in on Pratt's rig. Man, I hate when Pratt's situation leads to double entendre. Kelly is pregnant and in labor. "Just get it out! I want an epidural!" she screams. Pratt leans on the back of the gurney and leers at Chen. He says he's getting the roach problem in his apartment eradicated. Chen's all, "What? No! Not the weed!" Pratt announces that he'll be needing to crash in her vagina until his apartment is livable again. Chen visibly freaks and babbles that she has "a thing" that prevents him from staying with her. "What thing?" he gapes. "A thing!" she shouts. Maybe it's called a vibrator, Pratt. Then, Chen does something truly assbaggy: she tells Pratt she has a dinner with Susan that she can't cancel because Susan has been lonely and depressed lately. All the EMTs are like, "Oh, really?" The annoying man screams, "Really? She's depressed?" Kelly's like, "Wow, what a sad sack." Kelly's baby pokes its head out long enough to say, "That chick must be pathetic." Susan should run through the hospital with a big sign that says, " Chen Wears Semen." At this point, something nasty floats out of Kelly's crotch, but we don't see what it is -- which is remarkable restraint from this show, probably only because it would be grossly inappropriate to use the NBC Vomit Comet in this situation. Pratt gives up and leaves. Kelly screams her disapproval. "I love him!" she weeps. "He thinks pregnant women are sexy!" Chen broods. Hee. She Lukas.
So. Mrs. Langston, the Alzheimer's woman, has forgotten how to speak English. Her first language, which she stopped speaking in favor of English when she was a teenager, is French. Her poor old husband never learned French because she spoke such good English; ergo, no one can speak to her. Susan rattles off a sentence in smooth French, then winces when Mrs. Langston looks at her like she's grown a second head. "It means, 'I would like a taste of melon,'" Susan explains. "The first full sentence I learned in high school, and the only one I remember." She leaves to get a translator.
Carter and Abby try to restart Jared's heart. Crack! They break a rib. Ew. Jana's like, "Oh, okay." Then she wails a little. "You don't have to be here," he says gently. "I'm not leaving him," Jana shouts. Finally, they get a weak pulse. Abby meets Jana's gaze. "Are you sure you want us to do this?" she says dubiously. "Quit asking me that! He's my son!" she shouts. Abby's all, "Right. He's not me, so he's expendable, so are you sure you want to do this?"