A Little Help From My Friends

Episode Report Card
Heathen: D+ | Grade It Now!
A Little Help From My Friends

Abby leads the boy to the bathroom, and while she instructs him on the fine art of urine-sample acquisition, Chip appears in the background. He leans creepily against the wall, his eyes darting back and forth. When the kid disappears and Abby leans tiredly against the wall to wait for him, Chip picks up speed and walks nonchalantly into the restroom.

Pratt sutures a very old...something. Carter bursts into the room, and all of a sudden, he's got serious stubble and he looks pasty and puffy. When I watched this episode, I started at the halfway point and then watched the first half on tape, so this was my first up-close look at Carter, and I honestly thought that a subplot was going to be Carter working three shifts without sleep. But then I watched the first half, and he looked fine, and I was left totally confused as to what happened to Noah Wyle in between. ["His wife had a baby?" -- Wing Chun] Carter is pissed off that Pratt discharged the tree-trimming people without checking with him. "I'm not throwing my career away," Pratt blurts. Carter ignores him. "It wasn't my gun," presses Pratt. "I was going to throw it into the river after my shift ended." Carter wonders, quite logically, why Brainiac didn't do that before his shift started. "I was late," admits Pratt. Carter nods knowingly, then throws his arms up in the air and screams, "Ta-da! Ten points to me! ME! I am the MASTER!" and then begins doing a victory jig.

Susan passes Abby and asks whether she's seen Chip. "He went in there," Abby says, pointing to the bathroom. Susan sighs, relieved, then pauses to ask why Abby's hanging around outside the men's room. Abby's all, "Keeping my options open. Have you seen me kiss Carter?" Except really, she tells Susan she's waiting for a kid's urine sample. Susan freezes. "There's a kid in there?" she panics, bursting into the men's room and screaming for Chip. Abby's perplexed. The kid emerges from a stall completely unharmed, and Susan sends him outside, then searches the other stalls. Sure enough, she sees Chip huddled in the last one, sobbing and carving "evil" into his forehead. "Did you do anything to him?" Susan whispers. "No, but I wanted to," Chip moans, weeping with all his might. Susan bites her lip, because on this show, that's the "in" way to punctuate a scene. "Dana Delany has a story of her own on Presidio Med," she muses.

Holy mother of a whore. Rosemary's head is being sutured, and she looks dead. Her face is gray-green all of a sudden. Good lord. That's the worst thing I've ever seen, and that includes Old Man Gilman's nipples. Weaver looks a tad shaky. Haleh notices and asks if she's okay, but Weaver shrugs it off and sits down next to her green patient. She informs the girl that she has a bladder infection that spread to her kidneys. "Are you sexually active?" Weaver asks gently. Rosemary barely nods. Evidently, she had the burning sensation for two weeks, and ignored it, because somehow she figured that having a bladder infection would tip off her parents to the fact that she's got a boyfriend and she's shagging him silly. "They don't need to know," Weaver insists. "But we do need to tell them..." Suddenly, Weaver inhales sharply and turns her head to the side. She's cramping, and she gives little shallow breaths until the waves of pain subside. Haleh again notices, but says nothing. "We need to tell them that you're sick," Weaver continues to Rosemary, informing the girl that she may need to stay there overnight if the antibiotics don't start working soon enough. Weaver then bolts from the room, still gasping slightly. Gallant tries to get Weaver's assistance with something, but she fobs him off on Carter or any other attending and escapes. Gallant shakes his head in disapproval. Oh, Gallant. Leave the judgment to Carter.

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