The Mullet leads Coco triumphantly through the hospital. She's clutching a baggie full of fresh-squeezed Gilman juice, holding it like it's a victory for money-grubbing slagbags everywhere. "We were lucky to capture that retrograde ejaculation as well," The Mullet simpers. Gallant tries to tell Coco something about her husband's condition, but she ignores him. "I have to go. I ovulated this morning," she says. "Let's go! We're killing spermatozoa!" shouts The Mullet. Jerry can't believe his ears. "That man has an electro-ejaculator," Gallant announces, laughing. Everyone snorts. "Does that come with a costume?" Jerry asks. "No, an extension cord," Gallant shudders. They all figuratively toast the mighty Gilman. Chen mischievously asks an approaching Abby if she's ever heard of electro-ejaculation. "No," she muses. "I had an instant ejaculator once -- Tommy Reynolds, tenth grade. Poor kid never could make it out of his jeans." Hee. I can't believe I just said that, but oh well. Hee, I tell you. HEE.
Gallant takes a call from Pratt just as Carter arrives in search of his favorite renegade. Gallant is refusing to do something when Carter rips the phone from his hand; by now, Pratt has hung up. Carter turns to Gallant and gives him a stunningly dull, searingly benign order to tell him what's going on with Pratt. How can Gallant resist such weakly applied force? He can't.
Pratt rolls Leon onto his stomach; he's gotten his brother to the bed. As he hears a knock on the door, he shouts, "Gallant, what took you so damn long?" But of course, it's Carter. "I can see I clearly got through to you," he judges. "Running a clinic out of the apartment?" Pratt tries to slam the door in Carter's face, but he's blocked. "Who's hurt?" Carter asks, seriously. "My brother, Leon," Pratt says. Carter looks surprised, even though Leon's been to the hospital before and made a huge scene there. Pay attention, Carter. If we have to watch this, so should you. "Who are you?" whimpers Leon. Pratt tries to comfort Leon as Carter prepares to examine him. "This is...not smart, Pratt," Carter warns him. "Everything in my life is 'not smart,' Carter," Pratt woe-is-mes. Carter judges him briefly, because he's addicted to the gavel. "Gunshot?" he smarms. "Stab wound," Pratt corrects, annoyed. "Broken ribs, bloody nose." He tries to get rid of Carter -- all he wanted was a suture kit -- but Carter doesn't leave. "Why don't you want to go to the hospital? You don't want the assault reported?" Carter asks. Leon whines that his thugs are going to kill them. Pratt tells Carter to let it go, but Carter pushes it and learns from Leon that the thugs wanted the gun and won't stop until they get it. "Holding the gun for someone else, huh?" Carter says, again shooting Pratt a really pointed and obnoxious look. Go away, Carter. Take that face and bury it in the sand somewhere. "My friends," Leon moans. "Some friends," snorts Pratt. Carter goes to work on Leon's torn ass. And, ew.
Susan finally gets Chip to confess to Dr. De Raad -- after one last not-at-all tense moment where it looked like he wouldn't talk -- that his first move upon being released will be to grab his ex's son and have sex with him in the school parking lot. Susan practically yells, "Eureka," and Dr. De Raad finally admits that Chip needs help, and promises to find a bed for him. Susan exhales, relieved that this episode is more or less over for her and she can go back to her world of big salary and small, snarky one-liners. "I wonder if they need a doctor on Gilmore Girls," she thinks.