Kerry Weaver and our favorite med student, Michael Gallant, take the foreground. They're gabbing about a gallbladder patient Gallant managed to book for surgery; Weaver's very impressed at his smooth talking. "I have Attendings that can't turf a stable patient to surgery," she lauds. Susan waits until Weaver disappears and then giggles, "Someone's a teacher's pet." Frank hands Susan some paperwork and adds, "Rumor is, somebody's about to be promoted to Hall Monitor." Mark hangs up the phone. The world yawns. Susan decides Weaver must just have a crush on the dashing lad, who blushes and stammers that Weaver might just like him because he's doing well on his rotation. "Whatever it takes," Mark winks. Sigh. Why can't it take seventeen blows to Mark's noggin? "Michael!" Weaver yells. "Have you ever seen erythema multiformae?" Gallant gets hot and bothered by the sheer number of syllables and the very Latinness of it all -- that is the original Romance language -- and hightails it toward Weaver, panting and drooling. "So it's 'Michael' now?" Carter teases.
Chuny hands Mark the chart for a forty-two-year-old prisoner with a stab wound, and he hands it off to Susan because the medics are wheeling in another case right that second. "She's great with inmates," Mark says. Hey, that was insensitive, if he's talking about Sobriki. Know what? I just reread this paragraph and decided the recap could easily do without that information, except that it makes Mark look stupid, so I left it in and laughed. And laughed. Laughed.
Mark latches onto the gurney of one David Zachary, beaten up in a bar brawl at an after-hours hip-hop club. They try calling him "David," but he won't answer to that name. "He goes by 'Dimon Z [sic],'" sasses his girlfriend Aisha. Sassy Aisha also has a sassy fuschia coat. Dimon complains of chest pains, and "the twins is mopin' man. I got some serious jug damage. My boyyzzz hurt." Oh my God. This is so embarrassing. Mark wheels him into Trauma Yellow and investigates his wounds. Dimon tries to wiggle his toes and moans, "Awww, daaaamn, that killzzzz!" Carter notices that Aisha's lip is split and asks how it happened. "Some bitch with a ring," she enunciates, and when quizzed as to why Dimon got attacked, she replies, "Bunch of thugs looking to crank a name." She's trying to put on the accent, but it's faker than Michael Jackson. This actress has never so much as smelled the ghetto. Carter's impressed to learn that a "major label" signed Dimon Z a month ago, and hands Aisha off to Chuny for treatment.