Carter passes Abby in the lobby and comments, over her protests, about how tired she seems. "I was up most of the night," Abby moans. "Not for fun." Carter smirks, joking that he's pretty sure it's not a coincidence that Frank is also "a little drag-ass" today. "You caught me," sighs Abby. "I was up all night slapping Frank's ass raw...You haven't seen him sit down today, have you?" I laughed out loud at that, even though Frank's cherry-red ass isn't high on my list of must-see landmarks. Carter chews on this, then brightly calls out to Frank, "Have you sat down today? Are you feeling sore at all?" Abby stifles a considerable snicker as Frank, puzzled, gapes at them, pretty sure they're talking shit about his nasty booty. Carter picks up the phone to call Stephen; he arranges to meet his father at the airport for lunch.
Weaver wanders into Reception, only to hear from Frank that Romano wants her up in his office right away. Wincing, Weaver sidles up to Carter and lightly wonders why Chen is at the hospital. "Deb's here?" Carter says, trying to feign surprise. He lies that he hasn't spoken to her recently, and blesses CC a million times over for showing up and changing the subject. CC urgently whispers to Carter that he wants a chlamydia test. "It's only contagious through sexual conduct," Carter assures him. "Right," CC says, clearing his throat and studying the linoleum. Carter's eyes bug out. "RIGHT, okay, right," Carter realizes, thinking CC and Aisha have been revving the chainsaw in secret. He has Abby do up a new chart.
Outside, Elizabeth and Mark shiver and await the arrival of an ambulance. She asks if he's talked to Jen yet. "She wants to think about it," Mark says. This greatly annoys Elizabeth, who would rather make snap decisions if it means ditching the brat. Mark reminds her that it's hugely problematic to let Rachel make all the decisions; that way, she'd just keep flip-flopping back and forth between parents every time she failed to get her way. Elizabeth bows her head and grudgingly acknowledges the truth in that. "You might consider boarding school," Lizzie suggests. "She could use some structure." Mark thinks that's bunk. "I could sell her off to pirates," he offers. I hate to say it, but -- right on, Mark! Or maybe they could make it really obvious and ship her off to some Swiss school for Unwanted Teenagers. Elizabeth blathers that boarding school will give Rachel a sense of self-worth and responsibility. Oh, whatEVER, Elizabeth. Boarding school is going to help her discipline problem? Hasn't she read books about the randy escapades and assorted drug problems of boarding-school lasses with authority issues? "It worked well for me," she says, defensively. "Yeah, but...you're British," Mark says. Elizabeth starts to hiss and spit. She complains that Rachel's out-of-control behavior is disrupting their entire lives, and loudly doubts that Mark's doing anything proactive about it.