A River in Egypt

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Heathen: C+ | Grade It Now!
A River in Egypt

Chuny hands Mark the chart for a forty-two-year-old prisoner with a stab wound, and he hands it off to Susan because the medics are wheeling in another case right that second. "She's great with inmates," Mark says. Hey, that was insensitive, if he's talking about Sobriki. Know what? I just reread this paragraph and decided the recap could easily do without that information, except that it makes Mark look stupid, so I left it in and laughed. And laughed. Laughed.

Mark latches onto the gurney of one David Zachary, beaten up in a bar brawl at an after-hours hip-hop club. They try calling him "David," but he won't answer to that name. "He goes by 'Dimon Z [sic],'" sasses his girlfriend Aisha. Sassy Aisha also has a sassy fuschia coat. Dimon complains of chest pains, and "the twins is mopin' man. I got some serious jug damage. My boyyzzz hurt." Oh my God. This is so embarrassing. Mark wheels him into Trauma Yellow and investigates his wounds. Dimon tries to wiggle his toes and moans, "Awww, daaaamn, that killzzzz!" Carter notices that Aisha's lip is split and asks how it happened. "Some bitch with a ring," she enunciates, and when quizzed as to why Dimon got attacked, she replies, "Bunch of thugs looking to crank a name." She's trying to put on the accent, but it's faker than Michael Jackson. This actress has never so much as smelled the ghetto. Carter's impressed to learn that a "major label" signed Dimon Z a month ago, and hands Aisha off to Chuny for treatment.

Again, Weaver tests Gallant on some medical stuff related to a patient they're jointly treating. It goes on too long. Frank mercifully interrupts to announce that Sandy Lopez returned Kerry's call. Weaver, clearly affected, tries to hide her distraction. Chuny recognizes the name. "The hot one?" Malik pants. "The gay one?" chuckles Chuny. Malik refuses to believe it, so as Kerry listens in mortification, Chuny tells a story about how her cousin Rico lusted for Sandy but Sandy never looked twice at him. "I've seen your cousin, Rico and I don't blame her," snorts Malik. Kerry blinks back her tears and seeks an escape route. Frank tells her Sandy will be stopping by before her shift starts. Interested, Chuny asks if they're friends; Weaver tries to play it off as a professional relationship, because she treated someone in Sandy's unit, fifteen-foot fall, blah blah femur fracture, blah denial blah head trauma, blah bling blee hot sex. She grabs Gallant as a way of changing the subject. Frank, meanwhile, notices the just-arrived and already-harried Abby. "Abby, are you okay?" he wonders with genuine concern. "You look a little...tired." She thanks him sarcastically.

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