A Simple Twist of Fate

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | 1 USERS: A+
A Simple Twist of Fate

Drs. Mark "Drug Czar" Greene and Elizabeth "Iron Fist" Corday watch with bated breath as a doctor slowly extubates a fake baby standing in for the tot who plays Ella. We're treated to all sorts of medical jargon about why that's a tricky and risky procedure for babies. We're treated to an ominous rendition of The Extubation Waltz, during which Elizabeth looks scared and wan. "She's not breathing," Elizabeth panics. "Come on, Ella," Mark urges, as if she can hear or understand. And even if she could, given Mark's track record with his kids, she'd probably ignore him. Rubberella still isn't breathing. The doctor wants the airway box, but somehow Mark decides he knows better, and wants to give Rubberella a few more seconds to turn into a real girl. Sure enough, the props department replaces her with the blonde Ella, who twitches and gurgles encouragingly. "We're here," coos Elizabeth, smiling at Mark. She's relieved that Ella's breathing on her own. "We're here," she repeats. And...scene.

Abby "O Wagon, My Wagon" Lockhart apparently let Joyce spend the night after her most recent fright. As the morning sunlight filters through the blinds, Joyce peers out to spy on Brian. "Is his car there?" asks Abby. Joyce nods, but feels sure that even if Brian skips his Marketing class, he won't ditch Cost Accounting. Um, that clinches it -- the guy's priorities are definitely askew. Abby has convinced Joyce to demand that Brian attend some kind of anger-management group therapy, and she offers to be with Joyce when she delivers the decree. Joyce shakes her head and says she's telling him at the library because Brian won't lose his temper in front of his study group. Abby, sensing Joyce feels trapped in the apartment, wonders aloud if this should be Bring Your Battered Neighbor to Work Day. Joyce thinks that's unnecessary, but asks for asylum in Abby's apartment until Brian leaves for school. "Call me after you talk to him," Abby instructs. She's almost out the door when Joyce backpedals, blurting that Brian only lasted two sessions in counseling and she's pretty sure he won't stick with a group any longer than that. Abby's impatient with Joyce's sense of futility, and her flakiness. "You can go back to him if he gets better," she points out. "He'll do this," Joyce decides shakily. "If he knows I'm serious, he'll do this for me." Abby raises an eyebrow subtly and simply tells Joyce to call her. On her way out, she calls, "Lock the door." Foreshadowing runs in front of the television and moons me.

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