A Simple Twist of Fate

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B | 1 USERS: A+
A Simple Twist of Fate

The scene elsewhere isn't much better. Frank vomits violently into a garbage can. "Frank, are you sick, too?" Susan grimaces, confused and repulsed. "I ain't praying," he spits before hurling anew. Given this show's propensity for goo, I'm stunned they aren't showing what's coming up Frank's esophagus. Stunned, but ever so grateful.

In an exam room, Susan and Abby check out the vaginal bleeder. She's gone through two pads and started the bleeding yesterday after having skipped her period for two straight months. "Do you think you may be pregnant?" Susan asks. "My parents would freak," Vag answers. "My older sister just had a baby." Yeah, but that doesn't mean you aren't pregnant, Vag, honey. There isn't a one-fetus-per-family rule in effect here. Malik ducks in and tells Abby that Joyce is on the phone for her, so she sneaks outside and grabs the receiver. We only get her side of the conversation, but it's apparent that Joyce locked herself out of Abby's place and isn't sure what to do, but somehow isn't equipped to get to the hospital to pick up the key. Abby clenches her jaw.

Lizzie tries to feed Rubberella, who isn't taking the bottle, being immobile and fake and all that. These people could've just gotten Baby Uh-Oh With Realistic Suckling Action for thirty dollars and it would be just as realistic as the more expensive Rubberella. Mark suggests Ella might not be hungry, but that's not the right answer: Elizabeth snaps that the kid hasn't eaten in twelve hours, so of course she's hungry. As if on cue -- oh wait, she is -- Real Ella sucks down some milk. A nurse enters with word that Rachel's on the phone, but Mark waves that off with the promise that he'll call her later. Elizabeth won't look up, and stiffens. "They charge her with anything?" she quizzes. Mark seems stupefied. "Who?" he asks, stupidly. "The police," Elizabeth huffs. "No," Mark says guiltily. Elizabeth glares at him. "You didn't tell them, did you?" she says through a tight, angry smile. I want so badly to slap her, because she is so nasty right there. Mark tries to pretend it's a protocol issue -- Chen was the Attending that night, not him -- but Elizabeth knows he's just trying to avoid involving the fuzz altogether. "Mark, she was in possession of a controlled substance that could've killed our daughter!" Elizabeth barks. Mark feebly says that Rachel wasn't actually trying to kill Ella, adding that he figures the cops won't waste time on a three-pill possession case. How dumb can he be? It could not be more obvious how inadequate Elizabeth will find that answer. "You're already making excuses for her," Elizabeth fumes. Mark denies it lamely. "Well you're certainly not doing anything, are you?" she wails. Mark sasses that turning Rachel over to the cops seems an imperfect option, but Elizabeth isn't in the mood for sarcasm today and is fed up with Mark's sudden castration. "I want you to do something. You haven't even bloody well called her mother!" complains Elizabeth. "She's in court all day," Mark offers. Oh, man, if you can't grow a spine, at least find some common sense! You should say, "Oh, good idea," and LEAVE, you idiot. Step away from the shrew. "You're refusing to deal with a problem that you should've handled way before this ever had a chance of happening," Elizabeth rants, her anger drying up tears. Mark can't believe she's blaming him, but the cries of his sick baby save him from any more of Elizabeth's foul temper and his own utter idiocy.

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