ER
A Walk in the Woods

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A Walk in the Woods

Props to Sars and Djb, who are in a car on their way here as I write this, which is why I have to finish this recap in the next four hours -- a feat I have never accomplished before. Wish me luck!

Previously on ER: Romano told Weaver to take care of Mark the feeb; Weaver and Kim got it on, and Weaver more or less asked Kim to keep it a secret; Benton was named Director of Diversity, and cannily figured out that he only got the job because he's black; Luka told Bishop Cromwell he had lupus, but the bishop already knew; Weaver called a medical review board to ask that they send someone to evaluate a doctor who's possibly cognitively impaired -- and, no, she wasn't talking about Dr. Dave. If she were, she'd have left off the word "possibly."

Fade from the "previously"s to a shot of some tree branches, bare but for a solid-looking covering of ice, as you see after a fall of freezing rain. Snow blows artily.

Fade to the trees as seen from inside a bedroom, through the window. Lest we wonder for even one second where we are, we hear the voice of Peter "Say It Loud! I'm Black and I'm Proud!" Benton (as the camera pans across a clock radio reading "5:45") asking "MS" Cleo"ffice Suite" Finch whether she's asleep. She grunts. He tells her that it's snowing outside. She asks what time it is, and he says it's almost six. He asks if she knows what he's thinking. Oh, gross. She tells him the alarm's going off in ten minutes. Dude, I bet they both have such nasty breath right now. Whatever, they start doing it until Benton's bodily fluids short out Finch's motherboard.

Fade to another bedroom, where Elizabeth "Cri de" Corday asks Mark "Mean Joe" Greene if he "feel[s] it." After a moment we see that he's got his hand on her exposed belly and his head on her bosom. Mark notes, "She's really moving," and asks how long "she" has been going on like this; Elizabeth says it's been on and off all night. Her voice is dreamy and distorted and doesn't sound like her at all. Mark makes a "shh" noise and tells the fetus to go back to sleep; Elizabeth beams indulgently. I'm sure this is meant to convince us that, despite Elizabeth's attitude the past few episodes, she really does like Mark -- no, really, she does! She's just been really stressed out, and he's been really bald and penis-like...I mean, "recovering from his surgery!" But I am not moved by this display. The scar on Mark's head has faded and now is just a red line that could result from his wearing a pair of headphones clamped too tightly to his head. Elizabeth says that she keeps thinking about that movie: "Alien. You know, it's moving around under his skin, and then all of a sudden it breaks its way through with its teeth." Thank God -- I thought she was going to say she keeps thinking about the movie My Life, and I just do not have time to run downstairs and vomit today. Mark hisses, "Amanda! Stop it, you're scaring your mother!" Uh. "Amanda"? Like Amanda Lee, the crazy stalker? Why not Cynthia? Or Jen? Anyway, Elizabeth replies, "'Amanda'? So the baby's a girl today?" "Or Matthew, after my grandfather," Mark offers, adding that he can't decide. Elizabeth, stroking what hair there is on his head, coos, "Last day." "Last day," Mark agrees. Elizabeth sighs, and covers her face, starting to cry. Mark asks, "What?" She silently shakes her head. He tells her it's okay, and kisses her. Again, gross.

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