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A Walk in the Woods

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Wing Chun: C | Grade It Now!
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A Walk in the Woods

Lesbian dinner. We see it from the street, through the restaurant window. Anne is saying, "Vicki is dating guys now, and Carol is getting married to one!" Mitchell gasps, and then explains, presumably to Weaver, "Both of these women marched in every gay-pride parade for the past fifteen years!" The fourth woman -- identified as "Kate" by the captions -- says, "I don't get it." Anne snorts, "I do! You get society's blessing, your family's...." "...survivor benefits, tax breaks," Mitchell adds. "And all you have to do is lay there a few times a week," Anne concludes. The three women who aren't Weaver burst into raucous laughter; Mitchell's laugh is particularly shrill and piercing. What's up with that? Weaver stiffly sits in silence. Mitchell notices her discomfort and puts a hand on her arm, apologizing, "I'm sorry -- we're not usually this bad." Weaver flaps her hands and says, "Oh, it's okay." Anne muses, "Hey! Do you realize that everyone at this table has slept with Kim?" "Oh my god!" Kate marvels. Mitchell chuckles, "Cut it out, you guys!" Anne tells Weaver, "I bet she brought a U-Haul on your second date, right?" Kate giggles. Weaver says, "I don't understand." I didn't either; Sars -- though not a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that) said she figured it referred to the propensity of lesbians to move in with each other relatively quickly, and I'll go with that since it seems to make sense. I was trying to think what possible sexual connotations there could be that I wasn't getting, especially after Mitchell tells Weaver, "It's a lesbian joke. A bad one," she pointedly adds, to Anne. Mitchell asks Weaver whether she wants a drink, but Weaver gets up, hoarsely saying that she has to go -- she has an early shift the next day. She tells Kate and Anne that it was nice to meet them both. Anne nods appraisingly. Weaver hurries out.

On the street, Mitchell catches up with her and asks, "Are you upset?" Weaver, without turning back, says she's not. Mitchell asks why, then, she's leaving, and Weaver, her voice breaking, says, "I don't belong here! I don't belong here!" Mitchell, reaching out supplicating arms, explains, "I dated [Anne] in college; Kate and I dated for maybe a month ten years ago!" Weaver, her voice quavering even more, says, "It's not that! This isn't me! I mean, my experience. The jokes. Your friends. I care about you -- I'm not interested in adopting a lifestyle." Duuuuuuude. Okay, I don't want to be all Lesbian Avenger, here, but you were interested in eating some pussy -- or at least in watching Mitchell as she dried her hair and putting your shit in her closet (as it were) -- so maybe you should think about that before you make these assumptions about what Mitchell or anyone expects of you in terms of a "lifestyle." That's such an offensive word! Which is pretty much what Mitchell says: "Wow, I can't believe you just said that." Weaver says, "I'll call you later," and gets into a cab; Mitchell fails to call after her, "Please don't, until you can deal with your shit." In the car, Weaver tells the cabbie, "Just drive." I hate to say this about Weaver, but...bitch.

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