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A Walk in the Woods

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Wing Chun: C | Grade It Now!
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A Walk in the Woods

After the commercials -- which I use to take a cold shower and try to ignore Luka's gorgeous naked chest, burned, as it now is, on my retinas -- we're at County, following John "Smirk Van Houten" Carter (uncoupled, sleeping alone, left out of the opening sequence) as he struts through the halls. Chuny tells him that a four-year-old is coming in from pre-school; he has a fever and (yay, Amy Aquino's in this episode) is having trouble breathing. The camera continues following Carter as he makes his way to the desk, asking Frank whether Mark's in yet. Frank says that Mark had told him he'd be late, and adds that Weaver's upstairs at an administrative meeting: "Probably suggesting the installation of pay toilets in the employee bathrooms." Carter, having now arrived at the board, ignores Frank and quietly asks Lisa, standing by, whether Luka's in. Lisa says, "He's got a dead shovel in Three; they're trying to bring him back." First of all, that guy's not coming back, as we all know by now. Second, this provides a nice contrast against Mark; unlike Mark in the last episode, Luka actually tries to revive even the no-hoper patients when paramedics bring them in. Why does he try? Because he does not suck -- another important difference between him and Mark. Anyway, Carter notes that it'll be just him and Lisa working on the four-year-old, setting up the entrance of Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen, who adds, "Hey, I can take it!" Ming-Na? Looks great. Carter looks happy to see her and welcomes her back. Lisa asks Chen how she's feeling, and Chen says that she's "pretty good." Before handing her a pair of gloves, Carter asks whether she wants him to tag along; Chen confidently says that she's got it. "Eight weeks -- could be some cobwebs," Carter needles her. Chen snatches the gloves out of his hand and smirks that she'll be fine. As she heads toward the ambulance bay, Carter tells Lisa to call him if Chen runs into any trouble. Carter? You are about the last person anyone should call if they need help, unless the patient has a severe and life-threatening smirk deficiency and needs you to provide some emergency smirk therapy.

Outside, Lisa tells Chen that she looks great, because she does. Chen snorts that she still has a few pounds to drop, and Lisa tells her that you can't tell, because you can't. The ambulance pulls up; Chen, dressed only in her lab coat, shivers that she should have brought out a jacket; Lisa tells her to go get a jacket, but Chen says she'll be okay. The doors of the rig open and Pam says that the patient -- the four-year-old, of course -- had a grand mal seizure at his pre-school. A civilian hops out of the rig -- played by the same woman who was the dog-fixated contestant in Drop Dead Gorgeous -- and says that they were just finishing arts and crafts when he started shaking and wet his pants. Lisa asks whether she's the boy's mother, but she says he's his teacher. Pam calls out his vitals. Chen asks the teacher whether the kid -- Zack -- has a history of epilepsy, and the teacher (let's call her Miss Pre-School) says he doesn't, that she knows of. Chen leans over him and loudly calls for him to open his eyes, but he doesn't. Just then, Bishop Cromwell's priest-assistant -- let's call him Father Lackey -- shows up and asks Chen to help him. Chen, having been off since before Christmas, doesn't recognize him, and asks him whether he's hurt. The priest stammers, "No, no, no, it's not me. He's in the car. He's very weak." Chen asks Lisa to go.

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