Abby Road

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: A+
Abby Road

Luka: I know that Connor has been through a lot, but he has a severe metabolic disorder, and we have to find out what's making him sick. And I'll be as gentle as possible.
Sars: How can you refuse that?
Wing Chun: You don't have to be gentle.
Sars: Yeah, we like it rough!

Mrs. Connor seems reassured, and says, "Okay."

Finch approaches Marty's bed. She gives him an expectant look. He bluffs for a minute, and she asks him where he gets "the dirty needles." Marty asks what she means. She says, "Marty, I know." He starts to panic, and tells her that she can't tell his dad, because he won't understand. She tells him that he can't use dirty needles, for all the usual reasons. She warns him in particular about HIV, and he says that he stole the needles from his grandmother, who is diabetic. She asks, "Why are you doing this?" He says that kids who have crooked teeth get braces, and his mother had laser surgery on her eyes. Finch smirks a little at his youthful hijinx, until he ends by asking, "Why can't I use hormones?" Her face falls and she demands, "For what?" "To grow taller," Marty explains. Finch clarifies (for those of us in the audience) that he's injecting human growth hormones, and asks where he gets them. Marty protests that they're not illegal. She plays Basil Exposition some more -- saying that you can't get HGH without a prescription -- and asks where he gets them.

Marty: Off the internet.
Wing Chun: Shout-out?
Glark: [rolls eyes and shakes head]
Wing Chun: What? We sell human growth hormones on our website.
Sars: And if we don't, we should.

Finch tells him that if he gets them from the internet, there's no way of knowing what's in them, and asks if he knows to what kinds of health risks he's exposed himself. Marty argues that whatever it is, it can't be any worse than getting beaten up every day, blah blah blah short stack of pancakes. Then he switches gears and tries to wheedle her into writing him a prescription for real HGH. She tells him wearily that they're for children who have real problems, not for healthy adolescents. Marty says that he isn't healthy, and whines some more about the victimization he's suffered as a result of being short. Finch tells him that hormones wouldn't help that. Marty pouts, "Yeah? Well, being bigger will." Whatever you say, Pint-Size.

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