Abby Road

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 1 USERS: A+
Abby Road

Finch and Marty's dad are hurrying down the hall on their way to Marty's room. Mr. Marty claims that there's nothing wrong with Marty. Finch informs him about the beatings Marty's getting, which doesn't seem to worry Mr. Marty, who says, "So he needs to fight back!" Finch tells him that's not a solution. Mr. Marty points out (quite unnecessarily, I might add) that he is short himself, and got picked on for it in school, but that he learned to deal with it and so will Marty. Finch asks, "How? By injecting himself with God-knows-what?" Mr. Marty assures her that won't happen again. Yosh emerges from Marty's room to tell Finch that Marty's spiked a fever of 103.

Within, Finch listens to Marty's heart.

Finch: How are you feeling, Marty?
Wing Chun: "Short!"

Marty says that he's feeling "pretty crummy." Mr. Marty barks, "What do you expect, after pumping that crap into your body?" Finch asks Marty whether he's had a fever recently. Mr. Marty tells her that Marty had the flu last week. Finch says that Marty has a "pansystolic murmur." Marty asks what that is, and instead of answering, Finch asks Mr. Marty whether Marty's ever had a heart murmur before. Mr. Marty finally starts to look concerned, and replies that Marty hasn't. Finch says that he has "splinter hemorrhages." Both the Marties look scared, and Mr. Marty demands to know what's going on. Finch tells Yosh to order some tests. Marty asks what's wrong with him, and Finch explains that the needles Marty used may have introduced bacteria into his bloodstream, causing an infection in his heart. Marty looks dismayed.

Oh lord. Lisa walks in to meet Mr. Spencer, a TV commercial Hey! It's That Guy! who's already gowned and masked and taking his own pulse on the bed in the curtain area next to Connor and Mrs. Connor. As soon as Lisa introduces herself, he announces that he requires a private room. Insert your own stock doctor-and-hypochondriac He describes flu symptoms, and winds up by saying he can hardly hear. Lisa checks his ears and asks, "Do your stools glow in the dark?" Alarmed, he asks, "What?!" and she tells him he has wax in his ears. He starts bitching that he heard you can get that from food additives, and she tells him that she'll clean them out using "a special drill." He yelps, "What?!" again and she says that she's kidding; really, she'll use peroxide. Just then Carol comes in to let Mrs. Brant (formerly Mrs. Connor) that "radiology's ready." As Mrs. Brant gathers up Connor's things, Carol glances over at Lisa and Mr. Spencer, who is asking her, "What about my palpitations?" He asks for an EKG, and she sort of puts him off. Carol offers to order labs, but Lisa tells her she's got it covered. Carol turns back to Mrs. Brant and tells her they can wheel Connor on the gurney, but she tells Carol she'd rather carry him. They go, as Lisa checks Mr. Spencer's glands.

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