An Intern's Guide To The Galaxy

Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
An Intern's Guide To The Galaxy

Ray appears with donuts. He suggests that Abby bribe someone up in CT with a bear claw to get her stuff done faster, and then hands off the box to his students to put in the nurses' station. "Should I make sure someone sees me, so they know who it's from?" the student asks. Ray is proud of this initiative. "You don't find all this wheeling and dealing a little slimy?" Abby asks Sam. "Yeah, but sometimes you have to play some games to get things done," Sam notes. And she's getting donuts out of it. So she's an easy female. Loving this portrayal of nurses, people. Loving. It.

Scorecard Of My Last Nerve: Ray's winning, Abby has nineteen, and Neela has sixteen. The childish capitalized writing has returned. Just as Ray is getting even cockier, a guard calls out that an ER patient is up in the chapel praying. Neela sprints away. "Where you going? You're only at sixteen!" Pratt shouts. Hey, remember when you told Neela to find that guy before he bled out, at all costs? Well, here's the bill, ass-Pratt.

Abby calls the employee health people and lies that she just got stuck by a needle. Faking an HIV scare? Very classy.

Carter corrals Ray and asks whether he properly filled out the post-mortem checklist with Mrs. Mangled Man. "Yeah," Ray says. "Did you actually talk to her, or fill it out yourself to save time?" Carter sneers. Ray gasps, affronted. Carter explains that the woman walked in on the surgeon prepping to harvest her husband's organs, and freaked out because she didn't consent to it and she thought he was getting better. Ray's students are behind him, so the idiot makes the grave mistake of asking Carter with a haughty clearing of his throat whether they can talk about this somewhere else. Carter looks around and then says, "UNOS was on the phone with a kid in Madison who thought she was getting a heart, and you're worried about getting yelled at in front of some med students?" Ray sputters that she said she was fine with it. "No, Ray, she did not," Carter says. "Did you take the time to explain it to her?" Ray, coming unglued, sputters that he asked her... "DID YOU TAKE THE TIME TO EXPLAIN IT TO HER?" Carter yells. Ray decides to take the woe-is-me approach, bitching that it's hard to take care of four patients an hour and actually give them good, caring treatment. "No one said this job was easy," Carter snaps. "When you take shortcuts, you drop details, and people get hurt." We fade to black thinking that Carter should tell that to Pratt, who is demanding that they take the nearest exits off all the care pathways that run through the hospital. And we also want to pat Carter on the back for smacking down the new clown.

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