ER
Beyond Repair

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Heathen: B | Grade It Now!
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Beyond Repair

Icicle Andy's vital signs grow weaker, and Susan decides he's probably got pneumonia. The man's face is crusty and almost gangrenous; his blackened fingers most definitely are gangrenous. Abby tries to take his pulse ox, and snaps off his finger in the process. It makes a clean cracking noise, like breaking a twig. She yelps in disgust and holds up the charred-sausage finger. "He gave you the finger, huh, Abby?" Malik grins. Gallant wonders if they can reattach it. "Not without superglue," Susan snickers. Abby, suddenly, is cracking up as silently as she can. Makes me wonder if this scene required a bunch of takes and netted a dozen finger-related practical jokes. I can just see Malik popping it in his mouth.

A blond, cherubic little boy confusedly peeks into the room. "Mother?" he asks. "No, Ruprecht, this is not your mother," Abby explains. So little Ruprecht picks up his pots and yells "Oklahoma" until his contract is up. Abby tries to dismiss him, but he's lost and looking sadly for his mother. "She's not in here," Abby says. "Yes she was," whimpers Ruprecht pathetically. Abby hands off her duties to Gallant, and escorts Ruprecht to the lobby in search of his mother. She's confused by Ruprecht's stubborn insistence that his mother was in a trauma room. Abby also gets his name: Douglas Leeman. His mother is B. Just B. Because she's busy, she gently fobs Douglas off on Frank. "He's good at finding people's moms," she offers lamely. Frank, cranky on the surface, is a big galoot on the inside. That's right, I said "galoot." And I meant it. He squats, squints and stares Douglas right in the eye. "You like donuts?" he asks, very seriously. Douglas' eyes widen adorably.

Luka chats with a frail, pale redhead on a gurney. She's short of breath and suffering from chest pains, the sudden onset of which followed a few days of grogginess. She reminds me of Miranda from Sex and the City, so that's what I'll christen her. Miranda apparently fainted after a bout of dizziness, and has been taking fertility drugs. They jointly exposit that she's been on them for ten days, being as today's the tenth, and it's a smug moment that smacks vaguely of "aren't we clever for getting the date right?" Luka looks knowingly at Abby and orders up a spate of tests, while Miranda freaks about whether the fertility drugs have risked her health. Luka calmly explains that she has fluid in her lungs, which could signal the presence of a blood clot. Miranda whitens, impossible as it seems. She's actually transparent. Luka trots off to be pretty somewhere else, leaving Abby to ask Miranda for contact information. This becomes the reveal that Miranda is single, and chose a scientific fertility process because she "got tired of waiting around for Mr. Right." Abby's head jerks up a fraction, and her mouth twitches. "I know that story," she murmurs, smiling.

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