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Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic

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Heathen: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic

Cleo follows Malucci out of the room and spits, "Don't treat my patients unless I ask you to." He doesn't understand. "Why? I rectified the situation," he says, smug. Cleo snorts that any idiot could shove an anus back in, but Malucci is busy snickering about his "rect-ify" pun. Weaver's Dave-dar bleeps as she notices the conflict; Cleo claims she was waiting for a surgical consult on that patient, but Malucci accuses her of "gabbing with [her] boyfriend." He doesn't know they're on a break. See? Even Malucci isn't watching the show. Weaver politely asks whether there is a problem here. "Yes," Malucci says. "I never met anyone so possessive over someone else's butthole." It's really pretty rotten of him to act like it's no big deal; his intervention does undermine Cleo's authority with her patient a tad, plus after last week, he really shouldn't be assuming his diagnostic skills excel. I know he probably just enjoys the mischief of a good sugar-on-the-distended-anus trick -- who doesn't? But this seems like horribly misplaced boldness after last week's disaster, which means the writers are desperate to make us root for his departure. Oh, and when is that? In forty-five minutes. Far be it from these scribes to give us an intelligent, slow build. Anyway, Cleo snarls for him to keep his hands off her patients, and he waves off her concern.

Abby pushes a cart down the hall, but hears Luka's voice and frantically darts into the closest room, slamming the door and exhaling shakily. "Who are you hiding from?" a voice asks. She spins around to see Carter perched on a bed, picking at his foot. Tasty! He cops to stepping on a piece of glass. Abby peers at his foot, pokes at something, and when he yelps, she concurs with his diagnosis. Snapping on her gloves, Abby figures that probing Carter's foot is the perfect way to segue into her news. "Luka and I broke up a few days ago," she tosses off, casually. Carter gulps. Of the many ways he envisioned this moment, none included his bunions -- except the one with the sock puppets, but even then, only indirectly. "Why?" he manages to sputter. "The relationship wasn't working a long time ago, but neither one of us wanted to be the first one to call it," she oversimplifies, forgetting to add that she's closed-off, never happy, not pretty, and not special, but they're just wee details, really. Carter assumes it's all amicable, but Abby coughs, "I wouldn't say that." She begins to explain why, specifically, she's avoiding Luka, but Haleh pops in and says that Chen needs him stat in Trauma One. He limps away.

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