Mark examines a pretty brunette named Joanne, whose husband Paul brought her into the ER. She explains that they were "tracking a black-crowned heron," which naturally, my sewage dump of a mind assumed was the cleverest euphemism in the land. But really, they were birdwatching, at least until Joanne felt light-headed and tingly. Paul adds that she'd been having minor stomach trouble. "That was just his cooking," snots Joanne. As Mark examines her, he catches a glimpse of Elizabeth in the hallway and it momentarily throws him. Snapping back to his patient, Mark tells Joanne that her eyes look a bit yellow. She's baffled, because she does yoga and spinning and is the healthiest person on the planet. Paul points out that she's prone to panic attacks, though, and of course Joanne snaps at him. She's a bitch. Paul should flee. Suddenly, Joanne gasps and hands Mark a nest of eggs they rescued from a predatory raccoon. She begs Mark to care for them until they hatch. He's all, "Whatever. I have interns, lady."
As he seeks out Gallant, Mark passes Jerry, who's hawking a basket of his sister's vegan brownies. That is a crime against nature. Mark declines far more politely than I would have. You just don't mess with brownies. Dr. Michael "The Rookie" Gallant is standing at reception looking completely adorable in his dark green Army uniform, which he donned for a recruiting breakfast. "Sign anyone up?" asks Dr. Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen. Gallant glows that he kind of did -- in that he got a co-ed's phone number. "You go, Private!" Chen giggles. Gallant corrects that he's a lieutenant, but whatever. It was still sweet. Mark descends and dumps the eggs in a confused Gallant's hands. "Don't break them -- they're supposed to hatch," he instructs before disappearing. Before Gallant can collect his thoughts, Dr. Kerry "What Women Want" Weaver and Chen both hand him charts to juggle. "I'm here to serve," he cracks bemusedly. And he is. I am nursing a crush on Gallant.
Abby "Misery" Lockhart shouts that a stab victim is rolling up. There's some piffle about the eggs and Mark not wanting to eat a vegan brownie because he'll puke it up later, and Abby going all Emeril Lagasse on Jerry by saying that animal fat is a blessing. Basically, it all leads up to Jerry saying, "My sister's hardcore -- nothing with a face." But eggs don't have faces, and aren't vegans anti-egg? I know they come from a thing with a face, but...oh, screw it. I'm tired.