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Bygones

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Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!
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Bygones

After the break, Chen confers with Adele about Martin. Apparently, Martin found his mother dead of a heart attack, and the sight triggered a rare disorder in him. It seems he didn't have a problem telling Adele all this, despite having been mute the rest of the episode. This feels so tacked-on and, yes, boring. Basically, Martin's in shock. But his sister's flying in from Louisville, so guys, it's going to be okay. Really. Everything's going to end happily for our silent hero, so don't you lose a minute more sleep over it.

Next, Adele heads into Viktor's trauma room, with Mark on her tail. But he stops to harass Dr. Felicia Kind, and rightly. "Kind" anagrams to "dink," and there's no bigger dink on this show -- excepting Mark, Frank, Elizabeth, Chen, Babcock, sometimes Carter, and all the extras -- than Dr. Kind. ["Babcock rocks, yo." -- Wing Chun] "How much do you charge for therapy?" Mark sneers. Felicia grins tightly and says it went a trifle too far this time. She's remarkably unconcerned about depriving Viktor's brain of its vital oxygen, and Mark calls her on her stunning detachment. "He'll pull through," she breezes. I want to slap her. "How would you know?" spits Mark. "I have a feeling," she sasses, annoyed. Mark wants her to back it up. Dr. Kind points out that Viktor never so much as smiled at his adoptive parents until she happened along, and now, thanks to her recreated wombs and repeated drownings, he calls them "mommy" and "daddy." Mark briefly considers trying this on Ella so she'll say "mama," but then he remembers that he doesn't care and instead shoots Dr. Kind a mild look that borders on being downright impassive.

Haleh interrupts to say that Viktor's regaining consciousness, so Mark and Dr. Kind rush to his bedside, where Kyle and Linda are already waiting with bated breath. "Mommy's here," Linda whispers. Mark checks Viktor's grip, which is strong, and Dr. Kind proclaims that they're in the clear. Her relief is tangible. She screams, "I'm home free!" and starts doing The Dance of You Can't Sue Me. Mark breaks Dr. Kind's arm, spins her over his head like a cheap sweater, and throws her into a bin of surgical waste matter. Then he ties his scrubs around his neck, cape-like; he is Milquetoast Man, and with his sidekick Timmy Tumor, he'll fight ignorance and selfishness wherever it rears its ugly head, while also not blinking and being very tired. Viktor stands, weeping, and applauds the hero as he runs to the roof and dives off it, meaning to fly into the distance, but instead falling several hundred feet so that the NBC promo department can rerun its old teaser and have it actually be true. And, roll credits.

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