Episode Report Card
Heathen: C- | Grade It Now!

Susan is sitting outside, morosely drinking a latte. Carter spies her as he's leaving work. "I heard about Mark Greene," he says, almost apologetically. Susan nods grimly. "Tough to keep a secret around here," she says. "You did," Carter replies. "So that night you were, uh..." Susan nods again, and Carter looks ashamed. He shrugs in total embarrassment. "What can I say? I'm passionate," he smiles. "You spent the night together. I thought..." Susan teases him for his hyperactive imagination, and Carter giggles and flirts, "If you only knew." Susan groans. "You are not flirting with me," she winces.

Gallant exits just then, back in his uniform. Carter marvels that he's not wearing a hat in this dense cold. "I've got thick hair," Gallant beams. Okay, I laughed. Right after I fantasized about scrunching it with my hands. Susan notices that he's hiding something under his trenchcoat, and immaturely pesters him about what it might be. Both she and Carter chase Gallant as he awkwardly tries to scurry away, because I guess a nest of eggs is something of which to be deeply, deeply ashamed. Susan yanks his coat open and exposes a few unhatched eggs and at least two baby birds. "They're so cute!" she coos, grabbing one to cuddle it. She knocks one or two of the unhatched eggs out of the nest, and they shatter. "Oops," she grins. Okay, so now she's immature and a killer. That whole bird thing...Feh City. In the state of Blech, in the United States of ZZZzzzz.

Kerry leans against a car that's parked outside a bar, waiting until Sandy Lopez lopes toward it. "Out bar-hopping?" Sandy says, not unkindly. "I was just..." Kerry begins. "Lost?" interrupts Sandy with a wry smile. "Looking for you," heaves Kerry, eyes moist. "And you only found my car," Sandy murmurs, staring intently at the lock while fumbling with her keys. Kerry praises her for saving the kids, and Sandy brusquely waves off the praise, still not making eye contact with her ex. Kerry continues to devour her with her eyes. She offers a friendly ear or, you know, something else, and Sandy declines with a lame excuse about having to start her shift early the next day. "Know what? You can't drive," Kerry decides, nudging her way in and wresting the car keys from Sandy. Lopez is annoyed, but not angry; actually, I think she's more frustrated that Kerry still hasn't clearly stated her intent. "You were missing," Kerry whispers huskily. "And I was worried." Sandy defiantly stands still. "I'm touched," she says, partly sincere but still very guarded and tinged with sarcasm. Kerry intones, "You were right. You did me a favor," and leans in to give Sandy a tight, closed-mouth kiss. I'm not sure I get where Kerry realized Sandy did her a favor -- maybe she figured that closeted lesbians turn into Renee-like knife-wielding psychos with quiet but deadly obsessions. Still, when logic clashes with hormones, hormones always cheat and score the pin. When Kerry and Sandy break apart, Sandy reddens a trifle and says, "Come to think of it, it was a pretty cool save. The fire went to three alarms and I couldn't see my hand...." Kerry thinks, "Too much lip flap, not enough tongue," and moves in for a passionate smooch.

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