Mr. McKay came into the ER she begins as they move into her patients room. Trevor interrupts to remind her that they dont have an ER in England. Excuse me, she says. Into Casualty Trevor decides to interrupt her again, because the double-decker bus that drove up his rectum is illegally parked and got its tire clamped. He picks on her for not giving enough specifics, such as his race. Hes a 63-year old Caucasian male Elizabeth continues tersely. Man, Trevor sneers. I believe the noun for which you are searching is man. Male is an adjective. I have a male springer spaniel. His name is Barclay. And though I love him dearly, I would never think of bringing him to a hospital. The residents next to Elizabeth contain their glee, but barely. Please continue, Trevor says, both genially and condescendingly. Most of us speak a smattering of American. Outright laughter ensues, with a buck-toothed baldie flashing his choppers behind Elizabeths right shoulder. If hed been an inch closer, those things wouldve lopped off her earlobe. Lizzie shoots Trevor a look deadlier than Marks tumor.
Outside County General, its mayhem. Dr. Kerry Chesty La Rue Weaver is still wearing her tight blue shirt and is directing patients to other hospitals. The girl whose fiancé was stuck inside without her trots up to Kerry in a panic and asks where Colin is. I dont think they brought him out yet, Weaver answers. She squints up at the bright lights coming from news copters and crabs that no ones gotten rid of them yet. Suddenly, Susan trucks over with one last patient in a wheelchair. Its Chem Glass from Popular, in what has to rank as the most pointless guest spot on the planet. It consists of one line. Dont blink or youll read right over it. Weaver tells a paramedic named Zadro that hes got one more patient to take to Lakeview. Where am I supposed to put her, on my lap? he whines. Sounds good to me, Lucky Pants, purrs Chem. And thats a wrap. Hope they paid her well.