We fade up on a tub of lard in a diaper. Gallant and Susan are wheeling a large man-child around. "The landlord found him crying and hyperventilating. His girlfriend left him," Susan explains. Gallant, toting a textbook, amends, "The correct term is 'Mommy.' He's an 'abie' -- an adult baby." As Susan stares at him, stunned, Gallant cheerfully explains that it's a fetish wherein the person's needs are all met by a Mommy or Daddy. "Mommy," smiles Abie, gurgling with joy. Susan can't believe Gallant has heard of this before. ["Good lord, anyone who's seen more than one episode of Jerry Springer has heard of this before." -- Wing Chun] "It's like a form of relaxation," Gallant clarifies, adding that it mostly occurs in people who need to get away from the extreme stress of their day jobs. The Abie offers that he works in shoe sales. Susan triumphantly announces that he's a double fetishist, then, and clearly needs to be bounced up to Psych. Gallant disagrees. "When's the last time someone changed you?" he asks Abie. "This morning," Abie giggles, luxuriating in his diaper, rolling around like a pig in shit. Which, in essence, he actually is. Gallant diagnoses him with diaper rash and deems it a condition the ER should address. Susan shoots him a look of amused poison. "Remind me to give you some serious scut work," she says, narrowing her eyes. Gallant is just delighted to have cracked another case. He's so cute.
Frank carries a bouquet of flowers to the front desk and reads the card: "Thanks from a grateful patient." Chen can't believe Florist Ken sent Pratt some flowers. A woman lying nearby complains that she's here for her allergies, and that the bouquet is exacerbating them beyond belief. Frank offers to move them. "Or give them to someone more deserving," Chen smirks. Pratt glides over with an indignant grin. "Hey, who saved flower boy's foot, and who moved more patients than anybody today?" he gloats. "Me, that's who. And you guys are going to miss me, because I'm outta here." He skips off into the wild blue yonder. Chen sidles up to Carter. "What's up with your boss? Is it true that she was crying?" Carter shrugs. Chen notes with a gossip's concern just how moody Weaver's been lately. "Lately?" Carter snorts under his breath.