Dead Again

Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | Grade It Now!
Dead Again

Across the room, Junkie is berating a cluster of nervous-looking youths in lab coats. "Why are you dressed like that if you can't prescribe nothin'?" he screams. A smile flits across Carter's lips. "Ah, the smell of fresh med students in the morning," he says. Susan and Frank banter about them, with the former calling them "sweet"-looking, and the latter terming them "gullible, immature, vapid." But the one thing they definitely are at the moment is "underfoot," because no one has time to tend to them. On account of the mayhem. Carter instructs Frank to pass out orientation manuals and let them know that he'll be with them as soon as possible. Which is to say, not any time soon, because some traumas are incoming.

Dr. Greg "Uber" Pratt scampers up. Hungrily, he can smell a trauma from ten miles away. If it bleeds, Pratt feeds. He tries to get Carter to assign him the case, but Carter hands him a rash and a wrist fracture and Pratt looks pissed that he's not taking center stage. Abby follows Carter outside toward the trauma; en route, they pass Junkie, who's now screaming and convulsing on the ground in front of the medical students. Carter blithely notes that people who are really seizing can't speak. "Remember that next time," smirks Abby, stepping over him. Clueless Student #1 turns to a pretty brunette and wonders, "Think it's always crazy here?" The girl -- not without smarm -- answers, "Probably." She's the only one with her orientation packet open, and she's the only one played by Leslie Bibb, so we can presume we'll see her again shortly and that her eagerness will make us want to slap her silly.

Outside in the ambulance bay, Luka makes a paramedic load a patient back into the rig. "You guys suck," the EMT curses. Luka moves on to the next ambulance. "No beds," he says curtly. "Try Rush; we're completely filled." Is he allowed to do that? Let an ambulance pull up and then kick it out? The driver steams that he's been turned away from Mercy already; he's running out of gas, and so is his increasingly at-risk patient. Luka, however, has stopped paying attention, because he spied Abby and Carter hopping into a rig together and he's scheduled to give her a look of cryptic longing. The Bermuda Triangle has sucked him back in, poor sap. He catches her eye for a cordial nod, then continues staring at Abby as she goes about her job. "Yo, Doc!" shouts the paramedic. Luka snaps out of his reverie, and we head into the credits wondering why the geometric vortex can't go suck on something else for a while. I hear Pratt is horny.

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