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Episode Report Card
Heathen: B- | 532 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Dear Abby

"What does Carter mean by 'unfettered'?" Jerry asks, confused. "He means, 'I have enough decrepit luggage -- I don't need one more old bag,'" Frank says, except it comes out as, "It means she's been dumped." Eh, six of one, as they say. Romano storms up to inquire about the nurses; Jerry says that they went up to Nursing Administration muttering about hit men. Whatever. No one cares. The extras will get the axe and the nurses will return to normal after they've served the purpose of summoning cosmic anvils about Abby's life.

Romano notices an older woman hanging around the desk and screams, "Whose patient is this?" Coop pops up, because she's his. Lucky woman. I can think of a few uses for his ten-blade, if you know what I mean...which I hope you don't, because my brother-in-law reads these, and I think that was going someplace neither of us wants him to follow. Also, Luka might get jealous. Coop brushes off the woman as harmless and asks Romano to sign off on a wound infection. "No. Go away and take her with you," Romano crabs. "Seriously, she's cool," Coop says. Yeah, she rocks. The way she lopes and lists and shuffles -- she's a party in an open-backed gown. Coop introduces himself with his by-rote line ("...but my friends call me Coop"), and Romano feigns interest. "Do me a favor, Coop. Air rescue's bringing in a bad MVA," Romano says. "Will you go up on the roof and wave in the chopper, and make sure you stand right in the middle of the landing pad so they see you?" He turns to leave. The clever comeback would be "I think you should go -- might even you out, and two hooks are better than one," but Coop doesn't have that great of a death wish. He does, however, make the mistake of not letting Rocket end the conversation on his own terms. "You're Rocket Romano," Coop says. "You were a surgeon." Romano turns and snarls, "Still am a surgeon." Coop calls out, "Yeah. You got scalpel attachments for that bad boy?" The whole ER goes silent. I'm a little shocked that Coop -- who seems otherwise pleasant -- actually talked back to Romano; I don't care how wrong he is -- he's your boss, and it's your first day, Coop, and you need to either bite your tongue or put it in my mouth. Good GOD, I've become boy-crazy. Romano sucks in a breath and turns around, silently striding right up into Coop's face. "Right-handed," he huffs. "Lucky," Malucci...er, Coop grins. "So, this guy..." Romano cuts him off with a glare and informs him that they don't do remedial medicine at Country. "You don't talk to me. I talk to you," he adds. "Should I be writing this down?" Coop cracks. "STAY OUT OF MY FACE!" screams Romano. Sadly, Go-Go-Gadget Wit Void has really diminished the bite of his quips. As he turns and flees in a fit of rage, Coop chuckles a little to himself. His nads are larger than Jupiter at this point.

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