Episode Report Card
Heathen: D+ | Grade It Now!

Outside, Chen has greeted Luka and Linda. "She's tachy," shouts Chen, which of course sounds like "tacky," which has the unfortunate air of, "With those stumps, she should've gone with vertical stripes. And beige? Oh, honey, no." Chen screams for trauma, orthopedic, and vascular surgeons. As they go inside, Sam is leaving to track down Alex and Steve, and Luka almost stops moving altogether so that he can stare at her. She ignores him. GIVE IT UP, LUKA. She's awful. And she's got on a long denim coat. Every time she's on screen these days, she has a new coat. I didn't realize nursing was such big money.

Carter and Abby greet the rig carrying Michael, and do their best to comfort the terrified, wailing child. Pratt gets the third ambulance, which carries Antwan, the driver who started it all. I guess somebody jumped him, or he collapsed on his own. The medic says she smelled something on him. "Been shooting up? Sniffing?" Pratt asks harshly. "No," Antwan says. "You gotta back me up, brother." Pratt snarls, "I'm Dr. Pratt, you're under suspicion of DUI, and you sure as hell ain't my brother." We fade to black delighted that this is the last Sassy Pratt act-out we're going to have to digest for at least three months. I want to dance.

We return on a close-up of Linda's blood-streaked hand. Panning up the side of her body -- again, restraint on the part of the show, which I would think would've wanted to show some crushed femur right about now -- we arrive on her face as Linda wails that she can't feel her legs. That can't come as a surprise to her. Was she there during her accident? Luka and Chen ignore her questions about whether she's paralyzed, possibly because they're not really sure how to tell someone with massive internal injuries that her legs look like they went through a wood chipper. But they could also be thinking, "Is she kidding with this? Should we have a good laugh?" Elizabeth arrives to ask how she's doing, and stares a second too long at Chen's black eye; Chen notices, and there's a telling little beat pause in the middle of her list of Linda's extensive problems. It's very subtle but it's there. So she's self-conscious. She should've worn an eye patch. That would've been so awesome. Pirate medicine. They could've made that apt by giving Linda some swanky peg legs. Apparently, Linda's hypotensive and has a fractured pelvis, so Elizabeth gently tells Linda that she needs to go to the OR. "What about my son?" Linda asks. Luka looks over and sees Michael convulsing painfully in Trauma Green with Carter and Abby. "He's in good hands," Luka promises. Maybe Abby's been working on a backup career as an Allstate representative. Elizabeth asks Luka whether she had distal pulses. Chen says something about how she should ask Luka, because Luka was there, and it ends up coming off really, really snotty, like Chen's jealous that Luka got to be there for the leg-crushing and she was stuck at home sponge-bathing her father. Elizabeth wonders why Luka was out in the field. "Good Samaritan," Linda manages through the pain. Luka gives her a blank look, because apparently, no one is ever again allowed to know what Luka is feeling. Heroes are stoic.

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