County. The detritus from Noni's D&C -- a whole mess of bloody tissues and paper and such -- is all over the floor as the trauma team wheels out her bed. Carter comes back in, followed by Granola, who seems a bit put off by all the bloody trash as he asks what happened. Carter tells him Noni's going up to the OR. Granola asks whether they had to give her a blood transfusion, and Carter says she had to have plasma, because her blood wasn't clotting properly. Granola demands, "Why isn't her blood clotting?" Carter guesses, "It could be a sign of liver disease. Liver affects the clotting factors." Granola paces guiltily as Carter asks, "She ever have hepatitis?...She drink alcohol every day?" Granola says no to both. Carter asks, "Tylenol? Any other medications?" Granola slowly volunteers, "Maybe some...herbal stuff." Carter's all blasé, "What kind of herbal stuff?" Granola says, "Root extracts. They're supposed to induce miscarriages." Carter, not at all shocked, says, "Oh, I thought she wanted this baby." Granola offers, "She didn't know?" Carter finally starts paying attention: "How could she not know?" "I gave them to her?" Granola confesses. Now Carter's shocked. Granola goes on, "I put them in her tea for the last few days? She didn't even ask me if I wanted the baby!" "So you poisoned her?!" Carter asks. Granola whines, "I wasn't ready! I thought she'd just --" "What? Bleed to death?" Carter snaps. Granola insists that he didn't mean to make her sick. The closed captions say it best: Carter: "[disgusted sigh] No, man. You just meant to kill her baby." Normally I hate it when Carter's all sanctimonious, but it's hard to be on Granola's side in this case.
Weaver tells The Macer that Rex the Wonder Preemie has built a summer home on her left ovary. Just kidding. It's a tumour. The Macer cranks, "I came in here because I couldn't poop!" Weaver explains that the tumour's big enough that it's blocking her bowel movements. The Macer ruefully says, "Cancer, huh? Well, well, well. Every day comes with its own surprises." Weaver asks, "What?" and The Macer quickly snaps, "Nothin'." Weaver very slowly turns around and breathes, "That's how I know you! You're Princess Taffeta! And you had that children's show I used to watch all the time when I was little, and you always used to say, 'Every day comes with its own surprises'!" That's a lame-ass catchphrase. It's certainly no "It's beer o'clock, and I'm buying!" It's absolutely no "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?" It's about on par with "How rude!" The Macer denies that she was Princess Taffeta. Weaver's not buying it: "It was you, and you worked with those great puppets; there was Mojo, and Mr. Whiskers, and the...what was that...Coconuts! The chimpanzee with the sailor uniform!" The Macer finally breaks: "We got that monkey from a lab, and we had to dress him in that stupid outfit to hide his open sores!" See, now, there is a catchphrase. Princess Taffeta (formerly The Macer) turns away disgustedly. Weaver realizes that their tender moment has passed; in a businesslike manner she says that Princess Taffeta will have to be admitted, and that a gynecologist will want to see her and start treatment right away. Princess Taffeta sputters that she doesn't like hospitals. Weaver tries to convince her, but Princess Taffeta will not be moved. Weaver offers to call a family member, but Princess Taffeta has no brothers or sisters and never married. She offers that she was engaged once, to a man named Christopher Clemens. As Weaver surreptitiously checks her pager, Princess Taffeta says that Clemens was going to be a jazz musician and she was going to be a movie star: "Doesn't really matter now. In the end, everybody dies alone. Right?" I don't get it. Psych. I do.