At the desk, Chen's calling a "Dr. Quaid," but there isn't one at the number she's called. Carter asks what happened with her patient the numbers guy, and Chen doesn't know: "He left with this doctor from the VA and I just called to follow up, but there's no record of my patient or the doctor I let him leave with!" Carter rhetorically asks, "What are you gonna do?" Chen says, "Same thing as I always do: you know, hit a bar, get drunk, go home with some stranger and have wild sex until I pass out from sheer exhaustion." "Take-out and a bath?" Carter asks. "Yeah," Chen snickers. Weaver crutches up and asks Randi whether she's seen Mr. Whiskers. Weaver can't believe someone would steal it. Here's where I stick a pen in my eye (in five) as a new patient's wheeled in and Dirk asks where to take him, (four) Weaver says Exam One but (three) Randi tells her O. Possum's still in there, (two)Weaver crutches off aiming to get rid of him and (one) flings open the door to find (ew) O. Possum under a sheet, purring vigorously and getting acquainted with Mr. Whiskers. Emmy-winning drama, folks. Among the highest-rated shows on television for seven years. Guy jerking off with a hand puppet. Words fail me. But the mental picture will last a lifetime. Not really. Once I go to bed I'm barely going to remember the last four or five pages of this recap.
Benton and Mr. Ferris reminisce. For those of you preparing for your SATs, Benton is to Mr. Ferris as Luka was to Bishop Cromwell. Mentoring is Great! Children are our future! I get it! Can I go to bed yet?
Psych ward. Weaver crutches in carrying a little paper bag. Mitchell's sitting at a desk in the hall. Weaver greets her warmly; Mitchell returns the greeting, her face totally blank. Weaver says she heard Mitchell was at the hospital, but that she hadn't seen her. Mitchell's like, "That's 'cause I was avoiding you, bitch. Plus most of my day was spent in the jail ward." Weaver says she's happy to hear that the charges were dropped, and Mitchell exposits that Shannon Wallace decided to tell the truth, once she got the treatment she needed. Weaver smiles brightly, if tentatively, but Mitchell cuts her dead: "What do you want, Kerry?" Weaver indicates the bag and says she thought that Mitchell might be hungry. Mitchell curtly says, "No. No, I'm not, and I have a ton of work to do, so..." Weaver says that if Mitchell changes her mind, she'll have the food. Mitchell stares at her unblinkingly and says nothing. Weaver sheepishly crutches off. That's cold, but not unwarranted. You go, Mitchell, with your self-respect.