ER
Fear Of Commitment

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Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now!
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Fear Of Commitment

ER. John "Bachelor #0" Carter treats Jennifer, Eli's ex-girlfriend from Once and Again; she's clutching her stomach. He asks how long she's had the pain, and she says it's been a few hours. He asks how long it's been since her last period, and she says it's been seven weeks, and that she did a home pregnancy test two weeks ago; it was positive. Carter asks whether she's seen her gynecologist. The camera pans to the next bed, where Chen is treating a man with a migraine. She asks whether he's on any medication; he names a couple of drugs but says they aren't helping and that his headache keeps getting worse; the pain is all around his right eye. As Carter gloves up, Jennifer tells him that this is her first pregnancy, and asks whether she's having a miscarriage. He distractedly tells her that he won't know until they do some tests, and a pelvic exam. He pulls the curtain and we pan back to Chen and Migraine Man; he's saying the pain pounds with every heartbeat: "I think it's the numbers." Chen doesn't get it and asks, "You're an accountant or something?" He explains, "Binary numbers -- ones and zeros, electronic data." Finch gives me a migraine too, dude. I can relate. Migraine Man starts droning, "Eighty, one-forty-six, seventy-two, one-oh-nine. Eighty, one-forty-six, seventy-two, one-oh-nine." Carter pulls back the curtain. Chen's like, huh? Carter points to the numbers on Jennifer's monitor as Migraine Man reels them off: "Eighty, one-forty-six, seventy-two, one-oh-nine. Eighty, one-forty-six, seventy-two, one-oh-nine." "Freaky!" says Chen appreciatively. Suddenly there's a crash, and Dr. Dave rushes into the room, closely followed by Yosh. Off-screen we can hear a woman's voice shrieking, "I warned you! Pervert!" Dr. Dave's patient maced him. Wah.

Dr. Dave stumbles into the big open area near the desk; Kerry "Miss Lonelyhearts" Weaver tells Yosh to flush out Dr. Dave's eyes, and then to call Security. She crutches into the macer's exam room and demands that she relinquish the pepper spray. When The Macer doesn't respond, Weaver impatiently snaps her fingers (hee!) and snaps, "Do you want me to have you arrested?" The Macer, who looks like she's seen better days, reluctantly hands over the pepper spray and barks, "I told him not to touch me or my personal possessions!" Weaver tells The Macer that she could have seriously injured Dr. Dave. The Macer spits, "I hope I taught him some manners!" Weaver turns, and with a quizzical expression asks, "Have you been in this ER before?" The Macer says that she's been in a lot of ERs, "and to be honest, this one's sub-standard." Tell me about it. Weaver calmly suggests that maybe The Macer would feel "more comfortable in jail." The Macer, not at all intimidated, hisses, "You know, they used to drown redheaded babies in the old days, 'cause they thought they were evil!" Weaver blandly says, "And they used to burn crazy people who they thought were witches." The Macer's totally faced, but she comes back: "I just need something to help me go to the bathroom! Is that too much to ask?!" Being immersed in this environment always does the trick for me.

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