ER
Finders Keepers

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Finders Keepers

"Where's Dr. Woo?" Elizabeth asks, breezing into Trauma Green. "She...left," Carter offers. Romano breezily suggests that Elizabeth hire residents with thicker skin. Is Elizabeth the head of surgery now? "She only cried a little," Abby placates. "Oh dear," Elizabeth sighs, but without much concern. She quickly takes control and notices everything that Romano had already spotted -- and he definitely makes that known. Debra has kidney cancer and will need surgery. Elizabeth wants an abdominal CT, and obstetrics involved. "Yeah, sure, why don't we get a third consult," Romano hisses. "Maybe we should ask the janitor what he thinks. I've been down here less than a day, and already I'm starting to hate surgeons." Elizabeth watches him, amused but a little concerned. Debra reminds them all that she's in the room by asking if her baby is okay. "No. The baby's quite healthy, actually," she begins, biting her lip.

Gallant grabs Romano and politely points out that he earlier ordered Gallant to prescribe something that is an obsolete treatment. Romano tries to deny saying sublingual ny-whatever-ophine, but he very clearly did say it, and in an offensive voice as well. Gallant argues this as rationally and calmly as he can, but his patience is as abundant as Rocket's hair. "Okay, okay, Goofus, listen. I'm the doctor, you're not," Romano spits. "My intention is to serve out this time in this hellhole without having Affirmative Action imbeciles like you make me regret ever having gone into medicine."

Romano whirls over to Jerry and demands information on who he can fire. "Obviously, you can't fire med students, but failing them is a bad idea because then they just have to repeat the rotation," Jerry informs him. So why did Elizabeth fail the oh-so-offensive Paul Nathan? I...never mind. Jerry suggests a marginal pass for bad students, and then tells Romano that he can fire non-union orderlies. Intrigued, Romano turns to a nearby black dude in scrubs, establishes that he's not in a union, and fires him. Susan's junkie screams with reckless abandon. "That is putting me on edge," Romano says through gritted teeth. He's miffed to learn that Susan's off on a break, and bitches about how lazy ER doctors are. "I always suspected Weaver would kill her own mother to get out of this dung heap, and now I know why," he complains.

Grabbing a chart, Romano heads over to a little boy so that he can create fresh new nightmares for somebody. The kid doesn't have any parents. They died in a car crash. "Bummer," Romano says. "So what's your problem?" Carter parks a frail blonde woman at the front desk and watches Romano suck all the sunshine out of the room. Then he asks Chuny to move Susan's junkie to an exam room. Then, he leans into Jerry and whispers that he wants to see all Romano's patients before they leave. "Thank you," a nearby Gallant says under his breath. "Doesn't mean you don't have to work with him," Carter reminds him.

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