Previously on Exasperating Relationships: Luka was seeing Montreal resident Gillian, whom he met in the Congo; then he started sleeping with Sam, whose son found out, prompting her to standoffishly suggest that she and Luka keep it super-casual; Elizabeth is seeing Minivan and has a date with Dr. Lawson; and Carter told Abby she'd be a great doctor. Wait, what? A medical plot? What does that have to do with sex?
Some kicky, jazzy music starts up as we fade in on Elizabeth having dinner with Minivan. He sloshes some curry onto her plate, which she greets with a nauseated expression -- just the kind of behavior that behooves one on a date. He calls it something that sounds like "Duck Sundae," and I sincerely hope that's not what he's actually saying, because that bodes poorly for its flavor. Minivan sits down and starts asking Elizabeth some rapid-fire awkward small-talk questions about her parents and her first kiss, and she nervously fiddles with a napkin ring. "You're terrible at small talk," she smiles. She tells him where she's from (Sussex) and what her parents do (surgeon, mathematics professor). She then claims that her first kiss was in seventh grade, which is kind of a big vernacular mistake. As a girl who grew up in England, Elizabeth would never have said "seventh grade," because that's not their school system. She'd have said second form, or something of that sort, or cited her age at the time. I don't think the culture shock of moving to the U.S. was so dramatic, and the rejection so fierce, that she sat down one day and aligned all her schoolgirl memories with whatever commensurate grade level it would've been in America. Minivan -- apparently having been relieved of his mental faculties for the night -- promptly asks Elizabeth if her husband died of cancer. Going from First Kiss to First Widowing doesn't sound like the most efficient way to make an evening cozy, because although nothing of interest could've happened in between -- we're talking about The Mark Years, here -- making a woman weep for the unexpected death of the father of her child is generally not Highway 69 to Orgasm City.
Elizabeth drops the napkin ring and frowns sadly, unsure what to say. She drinks some water and asks Minivan about his divorce. Two can play at this game, I guess. He shrugs that the story around the PTA is that he's divorced, but that he was never actually married to his daughter's mother. Elizabeth picks up the napkin ring again and twiddles it between her fingers. I'm not sure what the significance of the napkin ring is, except that it's adorned with a leaf, which perhaps makes her think of autumn, also called "fall," which is something a man's pants can do when you rip them open with your teeth. Minivan shrugs that his girlfriend was only twenty and left when their daughter was a few months old. Wow. I thought Minivan bought his eponymous car for his child, but maybe he'd previously used it to cart around his infant girlfriend. Then there's some shenanigans about his thinking Elizabeth would love Indian food because she's British, and should he fix her something else; as he gets up to take her plate, she grabs him and plants one on him. As they break apart, we see that Ella and RoboElla are standing side by side staring at them, having grown bored with whatever game of dress-up they were playing. Why on Earth did the casting directors get two identical little girls? It's creepy. Everyone blinks. I like to think Elizabeth's thinking, "Shit. Which one's mine?"









Comments