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Episode Report Card
Heathen: C+ | 273 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Four Corners

Kerry charges out of the room and into the hall, when she almost runs into a rolling gurney. "Watch your back," the medic says presciently, for at that second, Dr. "Everybody Loves Ray" Romano appears behind her and it seems his fangs are bared. He sweetly asks, "Kerry, are you under the weather?" It appears he noticed her lagging mental perception. She unconvincingly blames it on jet lag. "Oh, yes, a trip to Africa, was it? Spontaneous decision. Doesn't seem like you," he smarms. Kerry looks like every muscle in her body is rigid. Through gritted teeth, she monotones that her accrued vacation was about to expire so she decided to burn it. Romano insists that she gave insufficient warning, so Weaver flatly states she might take her remaining nineteen days sometime soon. "Might want to try Papua New Guinea for your next adventure," Romano oozes. "I hear they put gourds on their penises." I could be wrong, but I could swear he's implying she needs a good, vigorous lay with an oversized man-tool -- but it's unclear where he gets off saying that, because if anyone needs to blow off some...er...steam, it's Romano.

As the elevator door closes on Romano's inane comment, Kerry jams her cane into the gap and blocks it, struggling through the tiny space and looking unfortunately frail in doing so. Romano -- boo, hisss! -- smoothly drenches his voice in saccharine concern and says, "Careful...you know you can just call my office; you don't have to go beating up the elevator." Weaver demands to know whom he told. "About what?" he asks. "About what we discussed," she replies, edgily. Romano plays dumb and insists that he eased up on Legaspi, but that she decided County General wasn't friendly to her and relocated to San Francisco. "Go figure," he adds, almost as an afterthought. Weaver's agitation grows with every reinforcement of his dense façade, until she finally blurts, "Have you told anyone that I'm a lesbian?" Romano stares at her. "Oh, uh, no," he answers. "I mean, if you want to tell anyone, that's your business, but I don't see how a person's sexual affairs are appropriate for workplace conversation, do you, Kerry?" She looks at him in silence, then mutters, "No." Romano pointedly adds, "Then we're on the same page," and breezes past her, his words laced with a decidedly don't-ask-don't-tell vibe. Kerry zones out one last time, wondering what her moment of honesty has wrought.

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