Mark tells someone on the other end of the phone to "tell her I'll be right. There." He tells Elizabeth that Carol's in labour and puts on his coat, telling Holling that they have to go. Holling asks who Carol is and Mark explains that she's a friend and he's her Lamaze coach. Holling asks, "Where's the father?" Heh. Mark says he'll drop them off on the way. Rachel whines, "I'm hungry!" and in nearly the same tone, Holling says, "Me too!" Hee hee! Elizabeth says they might as well stay and eat dinner. Warningly, Mark says that he might be a while. Elizabeth says she'll drive them home. Mark asks Rachel if she's okay with this. Dude, with the 'tude she's been throwing around she's lucky she's not getting Puppy Chow for dinner. Holling tells him to go and starts carving. Elizabeth gives Mark a biscuit and tells him to call with all the details. Mark asks again if she's sure. Elizabeth tells him that Carol needs her, and that if Elizabeth doesn't release him to worship at her shrine, Carol's god will strike down all Elizabeth's oxen and kine and there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. As Mark goes out the door, Rachel brats, "No turkey for me. Animal fat's bad for your heart." Holling says, "Not today." Holling? Come sit by me.
Carol yells. Some more. Haleh, Chuny and Weaver cheer her on. As Carol relaxes after a big push, Haleh calls Weaver to look at the "decels on twin A," and they strategically press their shoulders together to block the print-out from Carol. In a voice of forced cheer, Weaver calls for "L & D" and vacuum extraction. Carol says, "Vacuum extraction? Nooooo!" Again, I have to ask, does she think they're doing this to mess with her? This is for your good and the good of your children. It's THEIR JOB. It's also YOUR JOB, so I would think you'd be just a mite more familiar with it. GOD. Weaver calmly tells her it's just for safety and the babies are fine as long as their heart rate is over eighty. Carol settles.
Renal Failure is still flatlining. Luka calls the time of death, and adds, "Happy birthday." In the next room, Carol is gritting her teeth and pushing quietly. Not. She's screaming like the most annoying of all possible banshees. Weaver tells her to stop pushing. Carol asks if "the cord's around his neck." Weaver says, "Not anymore." Carol lies back, but not before letting out a few Janis Joplinesque grunts. Weaver tells her to push again. Carol grunts again, and suddenly there's crying from the groinal region and Weaver produces a very large, very clean baby. Carol cries. Weaver hands her the baby. Carol kisses her slimy head. Cleo says she looks about six pounds. Carol says she's "so little." Uh, I know that Chicago is the City of Big Shoulders, but really. That baby isn't small. Weaver says that six pounds is a good size for a twin. Cleo takes the baby to clean her up. Weaver asks if Carol's picked a name yet. Carol says she thinks she's going to name her Tess. Carol cries. Weaver tells Carol she did great. Tess gurgles, and waits impatiently for the day she can say her first words, which will be, "Thanks for giving me such a twee name and dooming me to comparison with one of literature's most pitiful tragic heroines."