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Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 287 USERS: C+
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Great Expectations

In an apartment building, elevator doors slide open and out stride Mark "Laissez-Faire" Greene, David "Holling" Greene, and "Are You There, God? It's Me" Rachel Greene. Holling is asking whether Elizabeth is a good cook, and Mark says that they eat out a lot. Holling says that his experience with English food is that it's always bland. Mark testily asks, "Would you rather I cooked?" Rachel asks if Elizabeth's pretty. Rachel's never met her at the hospital? Mark knocks on the door, then answers that Elizabeth is pretty. Rachel asks if she's prettier than Cynthia "Crazy Slutty" Hooper (tm Kisle), and Mark says, "Different kind of pretty." Holling opines that "beauty is overrated." Mark hisses, "She's pretty, all right? Geez!" which made me snicker despite myself. Elizabeth "Moll" Corday opens the door wearing a cardboard pilgrim's hat and wishes them all a happy Thanksgiving. Mark looks at Rachel and says, "See?" (Dude: subtle!) Mark introduces Holling and Rachel, who tells Elizabeth that those hats are for decoration, not for wearing. Elizabeth explains good-naturedly that she saw it in the drug store and "thought it looked cute." Just say you saw it in Walgreens. There's probably a Walgreens in your apartment. Also, Rachel? Yeah -- considering you're in a beret, I don't think you're in a position to dis anyone else's choice of headgear. Mark offers to open the wine he brought. Holling asks for Scotch and soda and Rachel asks if she can have wine. Mark says no. Holling asks if she minds if he turns on "the game," and she says that her "telly" is broken. Uncomprehendingly, Holling asks, "It doesn't work?" From the kitchen, Elizabeth says that her neighbour was stealing his cable, so the company cut the wrong line and she hasn't gotten around to having it fixed yet. "No football," Holling deduces sadly. Elizabeth offers charades as an alternative. I snicker some more.

At the El station nearest County, Luka and Carol disembark the train and she asks to sit down for a minute. Luka tells her that her contractions are too close together and that she's in active labour. Sarcastically, she replies, "Ya think?" Maybe he could just roll your ass down the stairs for you. Would that help? Also, Wendola pointed out that between Luka's and Carol's heads is a clearly visible disabled sign, indicating the presence of an elevator nearby, the use of which might speed Carol's passage to the hospital. But whatever. They talk about how dilated she was at her last OB visit, and whether she's had bad back pain lately. She says it was terrible this morning. Luka looks down with muted worry, then tells her that they have to go. Carol whines, "Oh, can't I have the babies here?" Luka says, "If you want to make the news...." Carol says that they feel like they're "between [her] knees." Luka says, "That's the idea." She takes two steps, then collapses back onto the bench howling. He tells her to focus, then suggests that she try humming. She doesn't comply, at first, and he drops this bombshell: "I know it sounds very strange, but it helped my wife [!!!!!!!!!!!!]." Carol is not in a position to respond to this news, but hums obligingly. What I want to know is, where's this wife at? I bet Sars could take her. ["That's damn right." - Sars]

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