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Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | 287 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Great Expectations

Back at the Twelve Labours of Luka, he's trying to get Carol down the stairs so that he can go on to battle the Minotaur. Again, I don't know why they don't use the elevator. I really don't. As she gingerly negotiates the stairs, Carol asks how long Luka's wife was in labour. He says it was sixteen hours "for the first one [!!!!!!!!!!!!]." Carol chuckles and asks how many she's had. Luka says she's had two, "at different times." Carol asks if they're still in Croatia, which seems like a very nosy question to me, but then, I already think that his big story will be that his wife and children died in Croatia. He answers, "No, not anymore," and she says, "Mmm," and then has another contraction. He tells her to sit down on the stairs and assures her that it's probably a "vagal reaction." She says that she really has to go to the bathroom, and he tells her they're almost there. She starts humming again, which he correctly interprets as another contraction. He tells her not to push. She suddenly stops humming and sort of keels over as the Synthesizer of Imminent Trauma starts pounding on the soundtrack, and my nerves. Luka picks Carol up, and...can I have a moment here? Thanks. Anyway, he stumbles along the sidewalk with her in his arms. Ahh.

In the ambulance bay, Doris gives Weaver the bullet on the renal-failure patient whose ambulance was rammed; it seems she had missed her dialysis. Doris adds that "the jerk" who hit them is right behind, "faking a heart attack." Just then Luka appears, all The Bodyguard with Carol in his arms, and suddenly it's "renal failure who?" He screams Weaver's name, and she mutters, "Oh my God" in response as Carter yells for a gurney. Weaver and Dr. Dave hurry over just in time for Luka's knees to give out, very theatrically, in the unspoiled whitness of the snowy ambulance bay. He tells Weaver Carol's having a vagal reaction. The music takes over, but the closed-captions carry on transcribing dialogue not at all audible on the soundtrack: Luka explains that her contractions started on the El, Dr. Dave takes Carol's pulse, and Weaver exhorts Carol to squeeze her hand if she can hear Weaver.

Inside the hospital, the medical staff swarms around Carol and ignores the patient in the ambulance. Carol's regained consciousness by now (bad luck for me) and groggily insists that she's okay. Randi asks, "What's wrong with her?" and Carter splutters, "What do you think?" Randi tells them which trauma room is open, and Carol starts whining that she doesn't want to have her babies in the ER. Honey, if you couldn't see that plot coming down Michigan Avenue, then you need glasses. Weaver placates Carol by saying that she's just going to check Carol's cervix and her vitals and then send her up to obstetrics, and asks who Carol's OB is. Wouldn't she have asked that, out of professional curiosity, at some point over, oh, I don't know, the LAST NINE MONTHS? They wheel Carol into a trauma room while Dave yells that he needs help with the two forgotten Others in the ambulance bay. Weaver asks Luka to go help Dr. Dave; Luka reluctantly manages to tear himself away from Carol's side. Luka: You can do better! Call Sars! She has my phone number! ["'Wing Chun'? Never heard of her." - Sars] Conni asks if they should call Mark; Carol, who has started her breathing again, nods her assent.

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