Luka and Doris lift the renal-failure patient onto a bed. Doris says her lungs are wet and she's not making any urine. Luka asks the patient why she missed her dialysis, and she replies, "I was having my hair done." Aw. Luka says, "It's nice to look good [and HE WOULD KNOW], but your health should come first, huh?" She quavers, "You think I look good?" Distractedly, he replies, "Yeah -- beautiful!" She says it's for her birthday, which is today. He wishes her a happy birthday; she thanks him. Where was he on my birthday? He gives Lily his order for medication, and asks the patient if he can call a family member. He touches her chest and she moans quietly. He apologizes quickly and says, "Sternal tenderness." Doris mutters, "This is why idiots need to stop for ambulances." Doris! Luka orders a couple more tests, one of which has to do with the patient's heart. She asks, "What's wrong with my heart?" He explains that her fluid overloaded from missing her dialysis, and that there's fluid collected around her heart -- possibly from the renal failure, but it could also be from the accident. She says, "Oh, my!" He asks for some more medication and calls for an ultrasound. Lily says they're using it in the next room, and Luka yells, "Then get me another one!"
The next room is, of course, occupied by St. Carol, who is howling. Weaver tells her not to push. Carter says the "Doppler" sounds good. Look, I know she's big. But using a weather radar on her is just going to make her feel bad. Various other personnel make various other notes. Weaver tells Carol she's going to check her cervix. Chuny observes that Carol will probably remember this Thanksgiving. Carol ruefully smiles, and agrees. Weaver makes a pensive face, which Carol notices. Weaver tells Carol she's at ten centimetres. Carol sits straight up and yells, "What?!" Weaver tells Haleh to open an OB pack and Carol starts yelling, "No, I don't want to deliver down here! I don't want to deliver in the ER!" Carol, what do you think -- this is phase two of your surprise baby shower? If they could send you upstairs, they would -- if for no other reason than to SHUT you UP. What are you, new? Weaver asks Carol if she'd rather deliver in the elevator. Carol whines, "How can I be at ten centimetres?" Weaver tells her she's probably been contracting all day. Carol says, "Oh, God." At this point I think they should just stick her back out in the ambulance bay and hope some other jerk runs her over. They rotate the gurney to point her wonderfulness away from the glass door. Carol tells Weaver she'll "just hold it." Uh, how did this woman get to be head nurse if she thinks her sphincter could possibly help her now? Weaver tells Carol she can deliver the first one in the ER, and have the next one upstairs. Chuny tells Carol to lift up her butt. Carter starts talking about the ultrasound and the fetal monitor, and Carol -- apparently only now becoming aware of his presence in the room -- yells at him to get out. He ignores her at first, and then starts getting shirty as if she's maligning his ability to deliver babies. Weaver tells him to see if Luka needs help. This goes on a little longer until Weaver finally helps Carter catch his snap -- that Carol doesn't want a male co-worker to see her...um...action.