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Greene With Envy

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Sars: D | Grade It Now!
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Greene With Envy

At the desk, Carol asks Randi if ICU found a bed for Joshua Fox yet; Randi says no, and Carol tells her to call them again. Mark then asks Chuny if she's seen Bike-Accident Guy, and Randi squints at the board and says, "Spandex Butt? Yep, he was discharged by G. L. Who's G.L.?" Mark growls, "Gabriel Lawrence," and Randi leers, "Oh, right, the good-looking older guy -- I just saw him go into the lounge with Dr. Corday." Marky Mark prepares to get his panties into a funky bunch.

Cut to the lounge, where Hawkeye is telling the endearingly folksy story of the stethoscope's invention to Corday. Hawkeye turns to Mark and asks if he knows the story of the invention of the stethoscope, and Mark says tersely, "I don't. Did you discharge one of my patients?" Hawkeye says he doesn't believe he did, and Mark reminds him about Bike-Accident Guy, and Hawkeye sort of shrugs and says, "I wasn't aware he was your patient." Mark tries to guilt-trip Hawkeye: "Well, he was. I'd ordered a head CT, which he obviously didn't get." Hawkeye tells him not to worry, he performed a thorough neurological examination and the patient didn't need a CT; Mark adopts the adenoidal tone he reserves for passive-aggressive dissent in order to say, "He had a loss of consciousness, put him at a risk factor [sic] for intracranial hemorrhage." Hawkeye shrugs again: "Yeah, miniscule risk. I gave him a head-injury instruction sheet; if he has any warning signs, he'll come back." Cut to Corday looking uneasy as Mark again tries to one-up Hawkeye by saying that BAG lives alone and if he slips into a coma, nobody would know about it; then he gets in a dig at Hawkeye's credentials: "This isn't like New Western -- County patients tend to be a little less reliable when it comes to follow-up." Hawkeye patiently says he's aware of that, so he asked BAG to call him in four hours, but Mark keeps at him, saying sarcastically that BAG probably can't call if he's "passed out on the kitchen floor." Hawkeye sees what's going on here, and he asks Corday innocently what she would do. She tries to wriggle out of answering, but Mark presses her. She glares at him and quizzes Hawkeye on the neuro exam; after hearing his answers, she gives a more diplomatic response than Mark's behavior warrants: "I think Dr. Greene was just being very thorough." Hawkeye gloats, "Sounds like a 'no' to me," then taps Mark on the elbow and says, "Look at it this way, we just saved [BAG] $800. 'A for Accountability,'" and he holds up his core values badge. Mark huffs, "Right," and stalks out of the lounge.

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