At the desk, Corday asks to have a word with Mark, but before she can deliver the browbeating he so richly deserves -- nay, which his gigantic brow verily demands -- Romano barges up with the Gazette reporter in tow. Corday comments on the scrubs the reporter has donned, and Scoopette Brady says officiously, "Yes. It was my idea. I wanted to blend in." Romano blithers on about Corday showing Scoopette around, and asks Mark if he minds. Mark says flatly, "If you feel that Dr. Corday has the time." He leaves, and Corday watches him go, and then Romano goes on his way also and Corday and Scoopette stand awkwardly at the desk.
Jeanie comes into Joshua Fox's trauma room with a young man in tow and tells Carol, "This is Josh's cousin." Carol makes happy noises and wakes Josh to tell him his cousin has arrived. The cousin asks, "How's he doin'?" and Carol tells him, "He looks a lot worse than he is," and explains the tubes in Josh's chest; meanwhile, Josh has picked his head up to look at his cousin, and all his monitors have begun beeping faster. Jeanie notices that he's "taching." A worried Carol asks, "Josh? Are you in pain?" and tells Jeanie to page Benton in case Josh has started hemorrhaging, and she calls out, "Let's spin a crit!" as Josh's blood pressure spikes up. Josh keeps staring in frank fear at his cousin, and Carol and Jeanie order the cousin out as Carol asks Josh what's wrong. Enter Hawkeye to help; he too asks Josh what the problem is. Um, he has a tube down his throat and no medical training, people -- how on earth do you expect him to tell you what's going on? Josh makes a gun with his thumb and index finger. Carol says, "You were shot, yes, we know," and Josh shakes his head and cuts his eyes towards the door, where he can see his cousin standing. Carol follows his gaze and says, "Oh my god -- they've recycled this subplot!" Actually, she says, "Oh my god -- he's the shooter." Jeanie goes to call Security, and Hawkeye walks over to the door and eyes the cousin mistrustfully, spooking the cousin, who takes off, knocking over a gurney in the hall. A too-fat, probably-too-old security guard ["of the kind you usually see strolling around university campuses armed with a cup of coffee" -- Wing Chun] rounds the corner and drawls, "Hey, hold it right there," and the cousin draws a gun and aims it at the guard. As various extras screech and dive into doorways, the guard slowly reaches for his gun and points it at the cousin. The cousin fires the first shot, which prompts the guard to start shooting, and the camera cuts between various main characters hitting the deck with their patients and the guard and the cousin squeezing off endless rounds and failing to come even close to hitting one another. Mark gets down on the ground and pulls a patient's gurney into a trauma room from the hall; meanwhile, Benton books over to the pedes room to check on Reese. The shooting continues with more shattered glass and shrieking. Finally, the cousin runs out of bullets, drops the gun, and shambles quickly away. Thus endeth this week's installment of "Shootout At The MD Corral" (tm Glark). Dave "Pull My Finger" Malucci gets off the elevator, snacking on candy and wondering why he doesn't see anyone. A shot of the shattered glass. Corday and Hawkeye creep out to find the security guard on the floor with a bloodstain on his abdomen, and they haul him into a trauma room and order a bunch of tests, but they can't find the bullet wound right away. Eventually, it becomes clear that he cut his hand and the blood got on his uniform, and then he fainted. Dr. Dave busts in all testosteroned-up and wanting to help, and Hawkeye tells him to suture the guy's hand; Scoopette stands there with her Dictaphone, looking puzzled.