Abby follows Luka out of the room. "What do you want?" she asks. Luka orders a CBC, urine dip, and a chest x-ray. So he does order the CBC right away, so he didn't pooch that as badly as the show made us think he did. "What about a hemocue? He's looking pretty pasty," Abby suggests. Luka brushes it aside, ascribing that to dehydration. Okay, so maybe he did just fuck up pretty badly. Abby takes a deep breath. "Are we okay?" she asks. "About what?" Luka blinks innocently. "Last night. In the bedroom," Abby probes. "Did I do something stupid?" he wonders too innocently, so you know that he totally remembers what he did, and he can't wait for us to catch up so he can see our faces when we find out, because our world will be rocked. Rocked! And we'll remember why ER is America's No. 2 drama. Abby can't believe he doesn't remember. "I had a couple drinks," shrugs Luka. "Couple of dozen," Abby prods. Pause. Finally, she gives up. "Okay, as long as we're all right," she says. Luka tells her to let him know when the CBC comes back, and walks away. "I'm concerned," she calls after him. Luka -- deliberately, I think -- misinterprets this as referring to Rick's condition. "He's got the flu, Abby. You worry too much," he replies glibly. We fade to black on Abby's knowing face, and we decide that this act-out is pretty much devoid of dramatic tension if you've been vaccinated against Bermuda Triangle Syndrome, which most of the free world has.
The Flash of So That's Where He Got That Thing. Luka nurses a wound on his left cheek as a short, doughy man in a red hat whines about whether Luka plans to press charges. "You punched me in the face!" Luka says sharply. Abby appears. "What happened?" she asks. "Vicious midget," Luka replies. Hee. The vicious midget objects to this characterization, but no one pays attention because he's served his lone purpose -- that being, to break skin on Luka's cheek so that the makeup artists would have something fun to do this Christmas. Luka ices his face grumpily. Cynthia shows up next to introduce herself to Luka and thank him for looking after her boyfriend. We are all supposed to privately pity her, but I'm kind of over it; this was a case where knowing the ending didn't make me at all interested in what happened when Rick was healthy. "Doc, I was just reaching up," the vicious midget insists. "With a clenched fist?" hisses Luka. "I'm four-eleven," counters the midget. "My fists are always clenched." Susan drags Luka away to fix up the wound before any other fists fly.